6 Years Later

Wrote it as a song, couldn't get it to poem form.

I always wondered if I'd land safe or head first
The ground just isn't soft enough
To keep me from staying out the hearse
These times are always gonna be rough
These days I'm only playing tough
Just to keep everyone away from the little boy inside of me
Cause he doesn't know just what to say
When he looks out at what he sees
But he knows it's all inside his head
At least that's what he believes
But even then he's so hell bent
He couldn't have a happy dream
And if he did he'd probably wake up cause he's scared to take the lead
I hope you understand what's he's going through cause he's begging on his knees
Just for you to understand that after all this, he finally gets just what you mean.

Damn. What did I do to deserve this?
All I really wanted was a kiss
But what I hear from you now is just a diss
Those words just somehow broke my heart
Somehow it's you I still miss
I wouldn't say I'm still hung up but since you left, there's been no bliss
And just the other day, I could of swore i saw your face
Until I said your name and they said who? And I said sorry my mistake.
I guess I'm coming to accept that you're no longer in my life
And that sometimes it doesn't work for who you want to make it right.
These headphones help me to cope, But they really don't suffice
Growing up is all I've done, but this kid still cries at night
And even after the ones after you, it's you I still recite.

Oh great, I'm actually happy for once today.
Maybe now it's all behind me, wait who did you just say?
Oh boy, now I'm sad again, what made you say that anyway?
I was just fine till you reminded me who I watched walk away.
Looks like there's no sleep tonight, guess I'll play games again
Wait till morning, finally crash. Man will this ever end
Sometimes I hate that depression makes it harder to repent
Think about the things you didn't say, or that text you didn't send
Oh well it's time to move on, time for a new book to spend
Pages on the best times of your life, cause you had a best friend
And how you'll have to start over, but just when will that begin?

Author's Note

It's the depression that actually broke my writer's block. Feed me constructively!