Closing Time

Closing Time

A Story by Stan Lee
"

Short Short Story

"

 

Outside it was dusk. Inside, there was a muffled sound of footsteps; a single set of footsteps; making their way down a long corridor. Those footsteps belonged to an elderly gentleman. Bright little spotlights gleamed down on his suit and they flashed off his bald head as he turned a corner, beheld a woman and there came to a stop.

"Good evening beautiful!" He chirped. "We meet yet again."

She gave him a mysterious smile. Almost a smirk; but her eyes never wavered from his. The gentleman stood back clasping his hands before him and regarded her with warmth.

"You have a beautiful smile," he told her softly. "I only wish that you would speak to me and tell me what is going on behind that smile of yours."

There was a silent, mysterious, adoration between the two and they considered one another for quite some time in this fashion.

Presently the gentleman began to murmur quietly.

"I come and speak to you every evening and yet you never speak back. Your eyes follow me everywhere I go. I think you have a secret young lady and I would love to know what it is."

Gazing at her face, he stroked at his chin thoughtfully. "One day I'd like to know what that secret is..."

The gentleman finally turned away and ambled back down the hall, jingling a bunch of keys on a chain.

The lights went out. There was complete darkness in the art gallery and Mona Lisa remained silent; smiling to herself.

© 2016 Stan Lee


Author's Note

Stan Lee
Appreciate ANY feedback :)

(no, really!)

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Reviews

I really enjoyed this, Andronicus. I was surprised to find out the lady in the story was the Mona Lisa; I thought maybe he was talking to a quiet art lover.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Thanks Wolf. I'm glad you enjoyed it & that I managed to surprise you too. :)
I liked the suspense :) made me to read more :) nice one :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading.
very nice indeed, Andrea. beautifully short as usual. one thing, though.
it is obvious that you wanted the ending to be a surprise, right? well, the title looks like a dead giveaway.
shouldn't you change it?


Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Any suggestions?
Woody

7 Years Ago

oh I can probably think of a few. anything that will not give the game away. gee, I don't know. let'.. read more
Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Thanks for your kind review and suggestions Woody. :) Much appreciated.
Very nicely done. Somehow I thought it would be a work of art and was pleasantly surprised
when it turned out to be the Mona Lisa

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Than you Dave. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. :)
Mmm. Interesting twist, deep on many levels. Very ponderous in tone, and it makes me wonder just what's going on in that old timer's mind.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Ponderous tone... hmmmm... *ponders on the ponderous tone* :) Thanks for your review Clifford!!! I'm.. read more
Short story writing still exists.. hooray for that... ! And, and.,. another cheer for it being so well done. Has a great finish that made me laugh aloud, first time and second. Very clever. .

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Emmajoy, thank you so much for your review! It makes me feel very happy that I made you laugh out lo.. read more
emmajoy

7 Years Ago

You're very welcome. You began with a hint of romance but ended with a distinct air of mystery!
This was an amazing piece! I particularly like the surprise at the ending and I also really like the way you portray things. I hope you won't mind me saying this though, but I think that in the end you should you se a , instead of a ;

Overall, wonderfull.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Thanks a lot Hyacinth. And you're most likely right. :) I could never figure out which ;:,or- to use.. read more
Hyacinth

7 Years Ago

Haha, don't mention it. It took me a while to, but my teacher use to say to only use ; while replaci.. read more
Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Oh thanks. That helps; I understand now. ... i think :D
Ahhh, this gentle little piece left me smiling. As often is the case with you, you pack a lot in a small package. Nice lead up to a surprise ending -- just enough detail to keep the reader going but not over-burdened with unnecessary details that would only serve to impede the suspense. Great job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Taylor!! So happy to see you again. :) It's been ages! Just yesterday I was thinking I should email.. read more
You really hooked me in fast with this one. It's short and still successfully throws me for a loop at the end. Love it! :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


amazingly written keep it up and well penned!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Stan Lee

7 Years Ago

Thank you. :)
Urja Gokani

7 Years Ago

welcome :)

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Added on June 28, 2016
Last Updated on November 27, 2016

Author

Stan Lee
Stan Lee

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I've turned RRs off for now because I'm really behind. I have 50 to do! Hope to get to them... eventually :) “If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; ho.. more..

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