16.09.16

rambling thoughts?

When you wake up, I'll be gone, out in the wilderness.

 

You never know how much you're going to miss someone until they say these exact words to you. Laura squinted at phone in her hand and re-read the message before tapping a reply.

 

I'm going to miss you.

Nope, she backspaced. He knew that she'd miss him.

Don’t get lost.
 

She crossed her fingers for luck and then hit send.

 

"Could be the start of a good story," she thought...

 

She smiled, imagining the headlines. "Man lost in desert for 60 days", "Saved by incredible wits and survival skills" and if she was the editor... "And by convincing himself that he was the lord almighty & infallible."

 

Author's Note

pretty much describes it

Reviews

[Steve Clark]

I could see those fingers texting away. Thanks for sharing with us!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for dropping by to read Stephen. :)

[Ghania]

Amazing. Some people do start thinking of them as semi-God (God forbade). Well, the story was so complete and really well-written. ;)

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for the review.

[Ghania]

You're welcome.

[V]

I like the concept of this, a very creative and nice idea. I also like the simplicity of your style, it's easy to read which makes it entertaining. It has a lot to offer, I'd say.

I'm honest, I saw this story pop up in my news feed and decided to read it because it's the date of my birthday. Things like this just draw your attention and make you feel connected, somehow.

[Stan Lee]

Hey, belated happy birthday :D Thanks for dropping by to read and review. I'm glad you found it easy to read and entertaining. :)

[V]

I did. You're welcome.

[.]

Hmm. Very interesting!

Your final lines are suggesting to me that Laura is thinking that this husband/boyfriend is completely nuts for undertaking this fanciful adventure. That he thinks he is God and nothing will go wrong. When in all probability something WILL go wrong. It always seems to happen on the news!

Another nicely written short story. One open to the readers imagination. Nice work.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for your review Doodley. All the best people are completely nuts right. :) I enjoy your take on the story and relationships. Thanks again. :)

[Zoya]

This is something interesting. I have not read something such as this on writerscafe so far. No doubt you are a great thinker!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Zoe :) Glad you found it interesting

[Zoya]

You are welcome:)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Wow Andrea!
The piece is very thought provoking. I loved the vivid and crispy end! It kinda mingles in your mind for long.

P.S.: Been so long. How have you been?

[Stan Lee]

Jyoti! It's been ages! Was so excited to see your name come up! :) I've been doing well. Same as before, only busier :P How about you?

Thanks so much for your kind review too. I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

:)
I am good, I have graduated my college now and life is on a full speed mode. Happy to be here!
You are welcome!!

[Stan Lee]

Glad to hear that you're doing well. Congratulations on graduating. :) What happens next? Are you working?

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yes for now as an admin in an architect's office. Will appear in competitive government-recruitment exams, prep is on. Let's hope for the best!

[Stan Lee]

Good luck Jyoti. :) I know you'll do great

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thanks! Wish you the best!

[Jacob Clifford]

The unseen words really make this story. So little says so much. This style is very thought-provoking, and it's fun imaging the relationship between these two characters.

[Stan Lee]

Lazy aren't I? But I like to leave a lot to the imagination. I'm glad you enjoyed thinking about this story and the relationship between the characters. I wasn't sure that it would make sense to anyone else so I really do appreciate your kind review. Thanks Clifford!! :)

[Shannon]

The unspoken here is very powerful. Even more so than the (very entertaining) ego referenced at the end!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you very much for your review S.Mi. I'm glad you found it entertaining. Is it just my phone having issues or has the third font disappeared? I wasn't sure about posting this cz I didn't know if people would understand it. But I'm happy that you have figured out the unspoken. Thanks again! :)

[Shannon]

I only see two fonts.

[Stan Lee]

I see two on my phone and three on my laptop :P

[Shannon]

Yes, the Café not terribly mobile friendly

[emmajoy]

So few words and yet so much said. A cleverness of thinking here, dialogue just enough, suggested actions going-on, a broken relationship - and a finish the bites the original thought in the ... whatever!

The different fonts are so very helpful in the actual reading and also, in adding light and shade to intentions. Yet another fine short.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for your kind words emmajoy! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Biting the original thought on the... is kinda fun right? :D I just re-read it and *gasp* added a few words. Wasn't sure it made sense tbh. But obviously you had it all figured out with the help of some random fonts so ... anyway. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Happy that you like my stories!! :)

[emmajoy]

I love short stories, initially joined this site to write prose. However... now post scribbles!

[Stan Lee]

Don't give up on your dreams emmajoy. We want to read short stories. And by we, I mean myself and those few but very special people who also write short stories and, I promise, won't just give you a meaningless review on a poem in return for your efforts.

[emmajoy]

Thank you so much. Have some stories in here but longer than yours.. guess they need pruning! Will find my secateurs some time. :)

[Stan Lee]

Oh and we want to read long stories too :D haha. I don't have the best concentration though tbh. So my PERSONAL preference is short stories ;)

[PaintedBirdy]

that first line is very powerful. it almost seems like there is a deeper meaning in it. i had to re-read it too, while Laura was re-reading it.

the internal thoughts of Laura in the middle of the story are interesting too. instead of saying "i'm going to miss you," she says "don't get lost." i like that. "don't get lost" has a lot more intriguing connotations in it.

the ending made me laugh really hard. i think this is my favorite of your Laura stories. great story, Andronicus!!

[Stan Lee]

I liked the first line too. It was the inspiration to actually write something down. :) I'm glad the ending made you laugh. :) That's a massive bonus. Thanks a lot for your review.