16.09.16

16.09.16

A Story by Andronicus
"

rambling thoughts?

"



When you wake up, I'll be gone, out in the wilderness.

 

You never know how much you're going to miss someone until they say these exact words to you. Laura squinted at phone in her hand and re-read the message before tapping a reply.

 

I'm going to miss you.

Nope, she backspaced. He knew that she'd miss him.

Don’t get lost.
 

She crossed her fingers for luck and then hit send.

 

"Could be the start of a good story," she thought...

 

She smiled, imagining the headlines. "Man lost in desert for 60 days", "Saved by incredible wits and survival skills" and if she was the editor... "And by convincing himself that he was the lord almighty & infallible."

 


© 2016 Andronicus



Author's Note

Andronicus
pretty much describes it

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Reviews

I could see those fingers texting away. Thanks for sharing with us!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Andronicus

1 Month Ago

Thanks for dropping by to read Stephen. :)
Amazing. Some people do start thinking of them as semi-God (God forbade). Well, the story was so complete and really well-written. ;)

Posted 2 Months Ago


Andronicus

1 Month Ago

Thanks for the review.
Ghania

1 Month Ago

You're welcome.
I like the concept of this, a very creative and nice idea. I also like the simplicity of your style, it's easy to read which makes it entertaining. It has a lot to offer, I'd say.

I'm honest, I saw this story pop up in my news feed and decided to read it because it's the date of my birthday. Things like this just draw your attention and make you feel connected, somehow.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Andronicus

9 Months Ago

Hey, belated happy birthday :D Thanks for dropping by to read and review. I'm glad you found it easy.. read more
Closed

9 Months Ago

I did. You're welcome.
Hmm. Very interesting!

Your final lines are suggesting to me that Laura is thinking that this husband/boyfriend is completely nuts for undertaking this fanciful adventure. That he thinks he is God and nothing will go wrong. When in all probability something WILL go wrong. It always seems to happen on the news!

Another nicely written short story. One open to the readers imagination. Nice work.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Andronicus

9 Months Ago

Thanks for your review Doodley. All the best people are completely nuts right. :) I enjoy your take .. read more
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Zoe
This is something interesting. I have not read something such as this on writerscafe so far. No doubt you are a great thinker!

Posted 9 Months Ago


Andronicus

9 Months Ago

Thank you Zoe :) Glad you found it interesting
Zoe

9 Months Ago

You are welcome:)
Wow Andrea!
The piece is very thought provoking. I loved the vivid and crispy end! It kinda mingles in your mind for long.

P.S.: Been so long. How have you been?

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Yes for now as an admin in an architect's office. Will appear in competitive government-recruitment .. read more
Andronicus

1 Year Ago

Good luck Jyoti. :) I know you'll do great
Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thanks! Wish you the best!
The unseen words really make this story. So little says so much. This style is very thought-provoking, and it's fun imaging the relationship between these two characters.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Andronicus

1 Year Ago

Lazy aren't I? But I like to leave a lot to the imagination. I'm glad you enjoyed thinking about thi.. read more
The unspoken here is very powerful. Even more so than the (very entertaining) ego referenced at the end!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Shannon

1 Year Ago

I only see two fonts.
Andronicus

1 Year Ago

I see two on my phone and three on my laptop :P
Shannon

1 Year Ago

Yes, the Café not terribly mobile friendly
So few words and yet so much said. A cleverness of thinking here, dialogue just enough, suggested actions going-on, a broken relationship - and a finish the bites the original thought in the ... whatever!

The different fonts are so very helpful in the actual reading and also, in adding light and shade to intentions. Yet another fine short.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Andronicus

1 Year Ago

Don't give up on your dreams emmajoy. We want to read short stories. And by we, I mean myself and th.. read more
emmajoy

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much. Have some stories in here but longer than yours.. guess they need pruning! Will.. read more
Andronicus

1 Year Ago

Oh and we want to read long stories too :D haha. I don't have the best concentration though tbh. So .. read more
that first line is very powerful. it almost seems like there is a deeper meaning in it. i had to re-read it too, while Laura was re-reading it.

the internal thoughts of Laura in the middle of the story are interesting too. instead of saying "i'm going to miss you," she says "don't get lost." i like that. "don't get lost" has a lot more intriguing connotations in it.

the ending made me laugh really hard. i think this is my favorite of your Laura stories. great story, Andronicus!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Andronicus

1 Year Ago

I liked the first line too. It was the inspiration to actually write something down. :) I'm glad the.. read more

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Added on September 16, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2016

Author

Andronicus
Andronicus

About
“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at ev.. more..

Writing
Twisted Twisted

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