unreachable

out of inspiration. a kerchief moment

 

 

on her wedding day

his heart was breaking

not only in two

but into millions of pieces

and each and every broken piece

was numbing him with unbelievable pain

 

he had known this to become

the darkest day of his existence

it got even darker than dark

today his world stopped turning 

his sun got knocked off

 his whole being ripped in two

 

he looked at her in the distance

standing like an angel from heaven 

in a gleaming cloud of white  

on top of the big steps

at the cathedral's entry

never had he seen such innocent and pure beauty

 

he filled his lungs with a big gulp of fresh air

but it did not help

the terrible hurting inside

nothing could help

this evil spirit, sore thoughts

and all of those way too clear images

that constantly emerged

and which he couldn't get out of his reeling mind

 

that this  ... well ... handsome guy

was to touch 'his' precious love tonight ...

and it will be his  ' R i g h t ' to do so ...!!!  ...DAMN!!!

that guy there with those   b l u e   b l o o d   m a n n e r s !

was to be the father of her future princes and princesses

she was lost to him now - for good! - forever!

 

the just married couple

made its way through an

applauding, shouting, waving and singing crowd

he did not even notice nor realise it

he only saw the one person

who meant everything to him

the one he loved with every fibre of his being

coming nearer and nearer

her slender and fragile figure

on the arm of that ... m a n !

 

right then he caught

her furtive glance at him

and he saw a lonely tear

gliding down her lovely peachy cheek

 

they both knew

it was the end

of it all

the end

of the two of them

the end

of two

who were meant to be

.......... but could never be

 

even when his whole heart

was hers - forever

and hers was his - forever

 

W H Y ???

 

 

why had she

to be

 

the King's daughter

 

?!?!?

 

 

Reviews

[Arrinae]

Well done! It was a wonderous read, and attention grabbing too. I applaud your piece. It was far too easy to slip into the mind of the narrorator. The only thing, I feel was missing was the raging anger and of being forced to let another touch the one who holds his heart. The anguish and helpless feelings were easily portrayed. Truely a fine piece!

[Angel Bird]

Thank you very much for your kind review. Yes maybe his desperate anger could be a little bit more raging, but back then in those times they knew from the start that they had no future, but love knows nothing about rules and rational thinking. I appreciate your comment. Thank you.

[An owl on the moon]

The thoughts were so forceful and strong, beating a rhythm in the brain.. And yes, the sound grew louder with each line, the questions waiting for the answer. Gripping write!

[Drama Kid]

It certainly wasn't a regular poem, but thats why it made it stand out to me so much. The way you describe the girl and nothing else really makes you feel how in love he was with her. The envy in it was wonderful and like MadasonBlue said the the pauses and the different italics and exclamations really really make your poem special. I would like to see more poems like yours.

[Allison]

thx 4 the submission in my contest. I really love it! First you think about the two of them together, then, you see that she was a princess, and he must have been of lower ranks. :) it rocked dude!

[MadasonBlue]

This is wonderful. I love this. It's going in my library. I enjoyed the story and the anger and jealousy and love in it.

All the pauses and italics and exclamations, they make this piece. Especially here...

"...and it will be his ' R i g h t ' to do so ...!!! ...DAMN!!!
that guy there with those b l u e b l o o d m a n n e r s !..."

This poem made it very easy for me to feel the way he felt.

Thank you for submitting this to my contest. It deserves something for being so amazing.

[Mrs.Lovett]

Very nice I loved it!

[Jaeda]

Like a fairy tale from the unmarried's perspective. Thanks for the submission.

[Flow~]

I was wondering why they were not together but the ending really put the nail in the coffin for him. I can't imagine being there watching that, the hurt and pain he must of felt would be too much to bear. I like this write it reviled everything slowly in almost a suspenseful approach. Excellent write~

[DiggeyEleven]

Good read, I love the story it was telling, but I feel it would have been better as a short story. There was a 2 sections though that caught me off guard, because of how well they flowed, how passionate they were, and of course it would have been lost if it was just a short story:

that this ... well ... handsome guy
was to touch 'his' precious love tonight ...
and it will be his ' R i g h t ' to do so ...!!! ...DAMN!!!
that guy there with those b l u e b l o o d m a n n e r s !
was to be the father of her future princes and princesses
she was lost to him now - for good! - forever!

That anger was wonderful, it was sad, yet it made me smile, because the anger in him is anger we have all felt at one time before. Jealousy, can be funny that way.

they both knew
it was the end
of it all
the end
of the two of them
the end
of two
who were meant to be
.......... but could never be

I just loved the use of a few words to create a good flow and rhythm. Overall, you have a great story, I feel you need to work on your flow just a bit more, try to use that passion you expressed in the passages above. You have talent, you have soul. Thanks for your submission.

[PassionRush]

i love your description, its sad yet realistic. I like it

[ICE]

I really liked it! It had so much emotion!