Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A Chapter by Anthony

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From what I could tell they'd been out hunting, they would be in the mood to kill. I was an easy target to them, having just been turned. Two of them, silently and swiftly, disappeared only to reappear on opposite sides of me, effectively trapping me within their triangle. The one that had stayed at my front, I thought this was the leader.... it was later proven, began walking forward. The other two did likewise, slowly enclosing what space I had within the continually smaller triangle. The leader slowed to a stop, perhaps 2-3 yards away. The others did likewise. We stood in Silence for a minute or two. Finally the leader spoke, in a low harsh tone, with bloodlust nipping along its wake.

"Who are you?" his voice sounded constrained, forcibly controlled perhaps.
"I am recently turned," I spoke in a quiet but deadly confident tone
A look of pleasant curiosity crossed his eyes, and I continued.
"My name is Anthony."
"Really? How long ago?" He was trying to find weaknesses.
"A week, maybe more." He looked pleased with my answer....
"Maybe you'd like to join our humble group?" He asked gesturing to the others.
"I don't think you'd enjoy my company." I replied with a grin.
"And why would that be?" His eyes flaring with his obvious rage.
"I don't live the way you do." I replied in a cool manner.
He was losing his control, his eyes giving away his rage, yet hinted at his curiosity.
"Then how do you live?" He's losing his cool, my next reply maybe....
"I prefer to live amongst Mortals, and I don't like too hunt." I said, the last part being a lie. He had lost it, yet his posture remained the same.
"WHY?" He screamed, nearly losing his posture
"Because I like to keep my mortal side alive." I replied, waiting for the inevitable.

He decided that it was time to kill me. He acted quickly enough the others just stared, yet slower than my reflexes. I drew my Katana, having sheathed it when I sensed them coming. I surprised everyone, including myself, when I quickly decapitated the attacking vampyre. The other two quickly joined in, hoping they had an advantage in numbers. They attacked in the same instant from opposite sides, the one on my right was quickly killed, cut in half to be exact, the one on my left was quietly beheaded. After the battle, which lasted maybe three minutes at the most, I stood Katana at hand with three corpses at my feet. I decided it was time to leave.


© 2011 Anthony



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I still remember reading the paper copy one night...back to reading!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I replied snidely(avoid -lys in dialogue attribution.)

"WHY?!?!" He screamed, nearly losing his posture(avoid this. Never use multiple punctuation. Either a question mark or an exclamation, never both)

They attacked simultaneously from opposite sides, the one on my right was quickly killed, cut in half to be exact, the one on my left was quietly beheaded.
(while sometimes -ly adverbs cannot be avoided, for the most part they can by either rewording the sentence, choosing a word that would fit without an -ly or just removing the -ly. This is one of those cases.)

After the battle, which lasted maybe 3 minutes at the most, I stood Katana at hand with 3 corpses at my feet. I decided it was time to leave.(the general rule is to spell out any number that can be spelled out without using more than two words. Exceptions are generally streets, dates, weight, time, addresses, volumes of measure etc. Now there are some who follow the anything under ten rule should be spelled out, but that would fall under preference.)

So far this seems pretty interesting.



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


Hee! I'm really liking this book! On to the next chapter!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on February 17, 2010
Last Updated on June 5, 2011
Tags: Sedohr, Vampires, fantasy, fiction, Fallen, Mortality, supernatural
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Author

Anthony
Anthony

Council Bluffs, IA



About
I'm not normal in any case (Feel free to ask away). I enjoy reading to get a release into someone else's world. I enjoy writing to share my world. My Story "Fallen Mortality" Was started a couple year.. more..

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