Undone

Undone

A Poem by TamiViolet
"

This one just came to me out of nowhere, it seems.

"


I still wait for my love story,
But no longer brood in empty
Drawn out light of summer’s
Discontent…

          Will I die without knowing?

          You must be there…
          Somewhere…
          Winter licks my body,
         
Yet my bosom remains warm…

Secrets I cannot hide
If for one moment these
Brown eyes blink…
Frost drips from dark lashes,

And I stand unfinished as life
Kisses death…
Flames transfer to ashes
Scattered upon Lake Erie,

And I am
Finally free….
Wondering…

          Amidst a fragrant blue mist
          Of forget-me-nots…

 



 


© 2012 TamiViolet



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Featured Review

Woh, dude, this was totally awesome!!! Im like shocked right now-It totally blew me away hehe. I love the haunting effect you gave it, and the melancholy tone of lonliness and despair that really made it. It's like a lost soul walking the beaches at night searching for a long lost love or somethin, and u become a ghost in the process--kinda creates this haunting hopeless romantic story that can make anyone who reads it cry. I had a few tears myself hehe. This really hit me a lot. I definitely agree with Coyote, too. Beautiful piece! Fantastic job here! :)

B.A.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Breathtakingly beautiful poetry, Tami. Bravo.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice work on this poem Apollonia...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully written! The pictures was super!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice! you pulled me right in and kept me there throughout. beautifully written
and full of personal honesty. ah, love...one can never say it all. btw, love that particular song by madonna.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I wish that I did not relate to this poem as much as I do but ... that is irrelevant!

This is an excellent piece. I am an echo here, providing nothing different from the reviews you have already received, but I wanted to submit my two cents anyways. Personally, my favorite line is "and I stand unfinished as life/kisses death..." There are a lot of references in this short piece that make a full-circle... from seasons, to life/death.

Good work.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amazing, this piece has so much to it, yet it's so simple just the same. I have no words. Just, wonderfuly done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very sensual piece, beautifully written.
"If for one moment these
Brown eyes blink…
Frost drips from dark lashes,"
very nice

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You must be there…
Somewhere…
Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm…

Lovely...the words drift softly over the senses and the image ends it perfectly...it was darkly melodic and drifted well through the conscious...

xxoxx



Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem, gives a feeling of despair and hope at the sareally well same time, well done :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

some words pull us back again and again . . . you could have been writing for me, for any woman, truly the mark of good poetry

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4155 Views
54 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on December 3, 2009
Last Updated on May 14, 2012

Author

TamiViolet
TamiViolet

Somewhere behind the evening sky..., PA



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A Poem by TamiViolet



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