~Forgiving and Forsaken~

 

“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”

Arthur Pike

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lights are flickering in this darkness

drowning my soul in heart-breaking dread

left choking on SCREAMS of agony, “take me instead!!!”

shrill of phone, slaughtering spiritual thread

the call…. impersonal…..cold…..

…………“your brother is dead”……………..

 

 

The earliest memory, soothing snapshot

of me holding you, tiny little angel stained

without a mother, thrust into the same devil’s domain

sharing my chains of sorrow, torturing and INHUMANE………..

yet rainbows of unconditional love exchanged

your bright light lifting, allowing exalted refuge

………….so warm and comforting in a life of pain…………

 

 

I surrender my tears and anger

letting go of resentment, hate and despair

forgiving wicked ways of the world

for blatant refusal of unanswered prayers

light may be gone, but my love I declare

………may you be at peace with the angels up there……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Pax]

so sorry for your lost, my friend... this is such a heartfelt tribute, your love is felt through the words you've expressed here. Your love is greater than what he did in the past... with that its all that matters for him and prayers for him to be at peace with the angels up above... simply beautiful!

[AprilRN1210]

our love is greater than anything, yes.. thank you for your warm, sweet thoughts and prayers.. I appreciate it :)

[Ashira Macy]

This brought me to tears, I am so sorry April, I can't even imagine how terrible it feels. If I lost my brother it would be like the end of the world. Still you articulated a beautiful message, and are somehow still forgiving. You really are such a strong person. I would typically go into the poem more, but I just want to make sure that you know I am here for you if you want to talk, and I feel for you. I am sure he will find peace, and he will be looking down at you proudly in all of your ventures.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you girl... It has been the most painful last two weeks of my life and without my writing and this site, not sure how I would have survived.. My world feels like it has been falling apart for sure.. I am comforting myself in the hopes that he is... thank you ma'am... your kind words and support are appreciated honestly...

[Ashira Macy]

I don't doubt that, and it couldn't have happened to a sweeter person. Some days I have to wonder why so many tribulations pile up on such good people. This may just be hopeful speculation, but I think you probably have an important role to play that requires you to be incredibly strong. But that is not something you need to think about right now. You just need to focus on taking care of yourself and mourning in whatever way suits you best. I have a gift for you when you have the time and feel ready for it. It is called "Earthen Angel", and I wrote it after seeing this. If it is unhelpful or upsetting let me know and I will take it down. Much love and many supportive thoughts to you my friend.

[AprilRN1210]

you have just made me cry... wheeew.. I am trying to remain strong.. some moments easier than others.. and I will check it out now.. thank you... you are equally as sweet and I am glad I came across your writing that day.. you are a dear friend and I appreciate you and am honored to call you friend.. :)

[Ashira Macy]

I'm sorry, that was not the intention. =( I am really glad you came across my writing as well, I really value our friendship, you are a beautiful soul teeming with beautiful feelings and words.

[Kenneth The Poet]

I love this piece...and I wish you the best.

[AprilRN1210]

hey you.. thank you..

[MomzillaNC]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel your prayers went unanswered. Such a loss is incalculable and crushing. But, I hope there's comfort in thinking that, though the answer wasn't the one you imagined, it was answered in delivering him from his suffering.

From writers far better than me, I hope there is comfort:
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. 
~From a headstone in Ireland

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.  ~Robert Ingersoll

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 
~Kahlil Gibran

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. 
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To live in hearts we leave behind
 Is not to die.

~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground”

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. 
~John Taylor

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. 
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Life is eternal, and love is immortal, 
and death is only a horizon;
 and a horizon… is nothing save the limit of our sight.

~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. 
~Kahlil Gibran

He kept at true good humor's mark

The social flow of pleasure's tide: 

He never made a brow look dark,

Nor caused a tear, but when he died.

~Thomas Love Peacock

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. 
~Author Unknown

It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the soul is to enter into real life; 'tis rather an embryo state, a preparation for living; a man is not completely born until he be dead:  Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals?  ~Benjamin Franklin, 22 February 1756

With what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
,
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,

And memory, like a drop that, night and day,

Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!

~Thomas Moore

And with the morn those angel faces smile
 Which I have loved long since and lost awhile.
~John Henry Newman


The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God. 
~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Good-night! good-night! as we so oft have said

Beneath this roof at midnight, in the days

That are no more, and shall no more return.

Thou hast but taken up thy lamp and gone to bed;

I stay a little longer, as one stays

To cover up the embers that still burn.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Unable are the loved to die.  For love is immortality. 
~Emily Dickinson

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.  ~Author Unknown

When he shall die

Take him and cut him out in little stars

And he will make the face of heav'n so fine

That all the world will be in love with night

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,

May looking back in memory help comfort your tomorrow.

~Author Unknown

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. 
~William Penn

[AprilRN1210]

"that you feel your prayers went unanswered. Such a loss is incalculable and crushing. But, I hope there's comfort in thinking that, though the answer wasn't the one you imagined, it was answered in delivering him from his suffering."------thank you... this has reduced me to a puddle of tears right now.. thank you... I needed that... words fail me right now, but please know that yours have touched me... I appreciate your thoughts, and the time and effort put into this..honestly...

[MomzillaNC]

From my poet's heart to yours… You've given me a gift to know my humble efforts could be used to bring you a moments healing.

[Stonz P.]

Hi,
My apologies if I seem to straightforward.
I am very sorry to know of your loss and I am sure with your prayers and such love-filled thoughts continually reaching out to him will help him rest. But do not break your heart, keep it intact.
I, personally, believe life offers more pain than death and it is nothing but another opening. I hope you may find solace so you may keep yourself smiling for your brother and for yourself.

Take care.
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful, heartfelt piece.

[AprilRN1210]

thank you for such thoughtful, kind, encouraging words. I honestly appreciate them.. nice to "see" you again!..

[Stonz P.]

*too

Well, nice to have discovered your works. I am looking forward to the others, too.

[Tate Morgan]

Interesting new vein for you dear

[AprilRN1210]

not my best write, I know Tate.. I am broken up about it, but my brain wouldn't work right.. my brother passed away two days ago and this is what I tried to write for him...

[Tate Morgan]

i am sorry to hear that I have lost a few these last few years My sympathies to you and your family .

[AprilRN1210]

thank you sir, I appreciate it...

[Trace]

As a poet..... we dont always look for explanation for our inspiration or frustration.
But to express your emotions in poetry at the loss of a loved one, is pure and nothing less that an act of love.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Be well my dear friend.

HUGGS. ...Trace

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you Trace... your kindness and support mean a lot to me.. ((hugs)) back to you..

[Troy Henson]

April im heart broken for you my dear. This piece bares so much pain and sorrow but it tells of a strong love and connection. I cry now for you and wish for you happiness my dear April. All the best and im so sorry.

Massive amount of hugs coming your way.

Troy

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you for your kind words and support Troy... I appreciate it my friend.. ((hugs)) back to you...

[Inda]

I have no words, this is for me when words become futile. You are a strong individual and for that i am in awe, my condolecense my friend, I am shocked and just don't know how you could find the strenght to post this. Wish i could extend a real hug to you. A great write of course.

[AprilRN1210]

virtual hugs welcome, and encouraged.. really could use them my friend.. thank you..

[emmajoy]

.. light may be gone, but my love I declare ..'

Your pain, your memories, those thoughts just scream from the 'page'. This is an intensely felt post, and, so very personal.. don't know how you put it together. Sending prayers and hugs across the ocean.. for what they're worth, they're meant.

[AprilRN1210]

you are so very kind, and they are worth a lot, thank you... I honestly was so frustrated putting this one together in the emotional wreck I am in. I kept thinking this sounds awful.. figured if I posted, then my friends would help.. but according to everyone it is ok.. so maybe I am just a wreck.. either way, thank you again.. your words touched me and I appreciate them...

[Wynter Ignatius]

Better than OK my friend; far better.

[AprilRN1210]

thank you....

[Woody]

this is heart wrenching, April. one can only stand helpless before the unfairness of life, at times.
the poem oozes pain and love only a bereft sister can express.

[AprilRN1210]

thank you Woody... your kind words and support mean a lot to me.. words were failing me and i just typed... I was beside myself with wanting to make it beautiful for him, but this is what came instead..

[Woody]

instead? no April. no matter what you write, you'll always find it wanting. of course you wanted something perfect. tou let your heart speak and that's what gushed out. beautiful. I wish you courage and strength to endure the difficult beginning. I know how hard it can be.

[AprilRN1210]

I did want something perfect... I can do it with silly, superficial things, why when I NEEDED to write something, when I WANTED to write for him, did the words in my head disappear.. it was so heartbreaking and frustrating... I felt like if I could just let them out, he would hear them, he would FEEL them.. he would know.. that this weight would be lifted just a little.. you know?.. thank you.. I am trying to hold on... some moments easier than others... your support warms my heart.. ((hugs)) to you

[Woody]

hang on tight there April. and only the sweet memories will remain which you will cherish forever.read morehang on tight there April. and only the sweet memories will remain which you will cherish forever.
x

[AprilRN1210]

yes sir.. thank you again, Woody.. ((hugs)) to you.