Welcome to the Insane

Wait, you ask. You’re saying you’re not insane. Then what are you doing here? Leave now, this is for the insane only, you are not welcome. And how can you read this? Only the insane can. So you must be insane, come in then, why didn’t you say so at first, join the ranks.

You know, this is much like the fairy tale, the Emperor’s new Clothes. So either, you are insane. Or you’re that little boy that decided to stand up for the truth. Which one are you, YOU decide?

So, let’s get started shall we. Actually, I better introduce yourself first. I am the Unknown Person Who Has A Secret Mastering Of Insanity And Is Now Just Adding Words To Make My Name Longer. Or UPWHASMOIAINJAWTMMNL. I choose it myself (aren’t you proud). Now that we’ve got my name out of the way, I’ll tell you a little bit about meself. I am terribly terribly insane (let’s put a posh English accent there). I will flit between accents. I talk to myself all the time, actually I’m talking to myself right now. Is it time for that maniacal laugh yet? You know what, why don’t you judge me for yourself, what do you think of me? I know I’m amazingly pretty (no need to point that out). But am I even amazingly amazingly pretty?

Quick! BUFFALO! Write that down three times. Buffalo buffalo buffalo. Don’t worry I did it for you.

Now, some ground rules. This is a nice little (or not) guide to help you keep that insanity. If ever you think that you’re becoming sane, just repeat some of the exercises. Or alternatively, just repeat BUFFALO in your head a few times (it always works, I guarantee you won’t be thinking about buffalos again). Another rule. I am never right. Even if you think I’m right, I’m not. The best way to stay insane is to do what’s not right. But don’t do what’s wrong.

Okay, so that’s it, let’s get cracka lackin on this shall we.

Turn the page and enter the realm of the insane (in case of an emergency, stick your head between your legs and laugh manically.) 

Reviews

[fitz Roberts]

Lmao I tottaly found myself laughing like a villain but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to read it sanity isn't apart of me but I'm not sure I make the insanity bar for this I think though now having read it I'll be a new resident at whatever mental hospital you deem is OK for me and have there for named through your insanity

[zach h.]

I totally love this chapter. It's a perfect opening to a book. It gives just enough information that you sort of know what is going on, but holds back so much that it makes the reader want to delve into the rest of the story. It catches the reader right away with your opening paragraph. The way that it's a conversation inside this person's head is a great touch. It's so comical and, dare I say, insane? I feel like everything that the chararacter is saying contradicts itself, adds to the insanity nicely. This chapter ends AWESOMELY! In case of emergency, I shall! I can't wait to dig deeper into this story. Thank you for sharing this with us (and submitting it to my contest). Best of luck in future writing!

-zach

[Ami N.]

It's funny how the title drew me in instantly.
Although I wouldn't say that I'm quite that insa- OMG A SQUIRREL. No wait. That was a buffalo. My bad.

Buffalo buffalo buffalo.
^ Tongue twister. I actually just caught myself saying that out loud.

Tsk tsk The influence of the insane.

Ah well. *reads on*

[astoundinglyattractive]

buffalo buffalo buffalo.
still feeling abit sane... is it okay to take two doses?

anyways, i enjoy this, its cute and flitty. I actually started reading it outloud, switching between british, scottish, russian, and southern once you mentioned the accent bit xD
anyways, i'm enjoying this. please do continue.

[Marie]

Funny, quirky...upside down, right side up...rough cut gem of a piece...

[Sylvana]

buffalo, buffalo, buffalo.
Got it. (;
Actually this is very funny, and I totally want to read more, considering I'm already insane. :D

[♥ Kinnixk]

I love the Unknown Person Who Has A Secret Mastering Of Insanity And Is Now Just Adding Words To Make My Name Longer. :) RR me when the next chapter's out!