Rise and Fall

Not everyone wins

Stand beside me and rise up!

Can you hear the drums beat?

They out call to us to rise!

Hold your head up and march!

 

Feel the power of thousands march as one!

Hold this moment in your hearts!

The time has come to stand up!

This is our chance for glory!

 

 

Stand down you have lost.

Can you hear the silence around you?

They do not beat anymore for you.

You rose up just to fall.

 

Feel the lose of thousands gone.

Remember this moment forever.

Your time has run up.

There is no glory for you this day.

Author's Note

For every winner there is a loser
Let me clarify as to my intention with the third stanza.
Ever had that feeling where you no that know matter what you do there is no way you can win? That dreaded feeling where you hit that invisible brick wall and everything just drops.

Reviews

[JulieZee]

The way the stanzas flow it's like the fight never even got off the ground. I'm not sure if you meant it to have that feeling but I like it. There have been so many times when I start to stand up to fight and get kick down before I even have a chance to open my mouth. You hit that feeling right on the nose.

[FeliciaS (Poetic Prince..]

I like this

[Wolfwind Words]

I like the theme, for it is an undeniable truth in life. I will agree with shelby below that the piece hits a speed bump at the beginning of the third stanza. I don't think it's the line though. I kinda got the feeling like there should be another stanza that links the two opposites together. Kinda like a transition stanza.

Other than that... It worked great for me!
Wolfie

[Shelby Baker]

I like the poem but i feel the flow got caught at the line "Stand down you have lost." I understand what you were trying to say and do but when i read it..it just caught me there but that's just how it is for me. Some people would agree and some wouldn't.