Won't You Sit Down?

What wonders can be found in a single bench surrounded in snow?

"Bench" by Arra Frost (me)

Won't You Sit Down?

Come and sit
Don't be shy
There's nothing to fear
Let the frost of the snow
Cover your hand
As you gently caress
The cold metal bench

Ignore the shadows
Dancing around you
They mean you no harm
By whispering in your ears
There is sleep to be had
So please lie quietly
On the cold metal bench

Allow us to surround you
Be one with the world
That is rarely ever seen
Hiding beyond the darkness
Waiting to be heard
Waiting for someone to stop
At the cold metal bench

Freedom comes your way
Leave your worries behind
They will never find you
For once you sit down
And softly close your eyes
All wonders will disappear
With the cold metal bench

Reviews

[Penmark]

It is an interesting paradox, the sanctuary to be had not inside of a building, but in one's own sleep on a freezing bed of iron. As the shadows invite me, the reader, to lie down, I feel almost hypnotized by their calm words. And yet, I sense a certain foreboding in the lines. If I lie down, am I freeing myself from existence itself? Am I committing myself to death? These are certainly powerful themes, and I consider them highly important in poetry. In regards to the poem's structure, the use of the Latinate word (disappear) at the end throws off the flow. Latinisms can often make English poetry sound trite and should try to be avoided. Perhaps: "Gone are all wonders with the cold, metal bench." Of course, this is a small quibble, and it is still a poem not lacking in profundity. Finally, I would recommend the admission of punctuation. I realize that many people don't feel the need to take the time to add it, but with a simple comma, period, or exclamation point one can build flow and suspense in entirely new fashions.

[Poetic Beauty]

this as an other world feel to it. It is almost dark but not quite. I love the flow and the scheme of this poem. It paints a picture in my mind of a homeless person who is cold tired and worn out. Afraid to lay down for they may pass on to the other world. Great job.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on this great winning poem!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I love that photo. It really inspired a good poem, I don't like doing this on reviews but the verse grabbed me i love this one

Freedom comes your way
Leave your worries behind
They will never find you
For once you sit down
And softly close your eyes
All wonders will disappear
With the cold metal bench

Freedom is everything be it on a cold metal bench or a hot metal bench depending on the season.. nice, Arra.

Chloe

[JENY]

Beginning of the poem was very much…charming…
But the concluding lines…could not keep that charm….
I felt so…
But…really a nice piece of writing….
I enjoyed it…

[Vin]

I'm not sure what to say with this except wow, haha. I really like this, I've never though of a bench as something so welcoming. Although the repetition of "cold metal bench" at the end of each stanza keeps the idea going that even the coldest of things aren't all bad. The rhyming scheme was great, it flowed really well, and I enjoyed reading it. Well done :)

-Beth

[Melissa]

Never had a cold metal bench seem so warm & appealing. Especially, to a weary soul who is ignored and beaten down by life. A beautiful poem that invited you in from the get go.

[Anicca]

I dont know exactly what it was about this piece that made it such a marvellous read but a marvellous read it most certainly was!

[TheAdventOf]

Love the imagery of the bench as a central focus of the entire poem, and as a metaphor for so much more. Absolutely beautifully written, and it just goes to show that there really is beauty in everyday life if you're willing to look hard enough!

[PoppySilver]

Benches can be pinnacles of observation! lol This is a beautiful piece- an indication of what creativity can stem from, or inspiration, great! :) xx