Elements

Just something I pulled together out of nowhere. Tell me what you think please! Critisim is always welcomed!

I see the flames in their eyes,

The burning desire to make things right.

The passion that fuels their determination,

To fix this so called blight.

 

I see the steel in their gaze,

The balance that lets them stand their ground.

Stone like bodies refusing to give in,

Despite the roar that begins to sound.

 

A cruel breeze makes itself known,

Loose strands of hair dance in the air.

Dark whispers in the dead of the night,

As we make to enter the lair.

 

The sky opens as the rain begins its fall,

A soul wrenching cry makes itself known.

Never will they realize,

How cold their hearts have grown.

 

Balance once again is kept,

At a cost that is so harsh to make.

When balance is threatened yet again,

I wonder if it will be my own soul that they break.

 

2/15/2014

Author's Note

I may change the name, I haven't decided quite yet. I am open for suggestions.

Reviews

[Hanna Lily]

Very nice poem! Like Landred I think that the use of the elements was very good, and the poem has a nice flow to it. Also it's a very intriguing poem, which conveys many emotions. It makes me wonder what the monster in the lair has done that is considered wrong, and why it must be punished. I like that the main character seems to show sympathy towards the so-called wrongdoer, that he/she can see how cruel the others have become, even if the monster is considered evil. The fear of become like them is something that makes the main character intriguing, because it means he/she isn't following the norm of her/his people, which is unusual. All in all very interesting poem. Well done!

[Arrinae]

Thank you for your review! They are really making my day! ^_^ I am glad you enjoyed it. I may make a continuation of it, though It is often the mystery of what is untold that brings forth the reader's imaginaton.

[KAin]

I like how you wrapped the classical interpretation of the four elements into this poem, using them to describe both feelings and atmosphere - it's very well done, indeed. It feels like it should have a rhythm... There's an "almost there" kind of cadence to it, but it works very well as a free verse poem! Nice work!

[Arrinae]

I'm glad you think so. Usually I try to give a rhythm to my poetry, but I wanted to try at least once to do one without to see how it'd fare. I like how it turned out.

[KAin]

Well, it's very well done, friend. I've tried a few rhythmless poems and sometimes the freedom is better for saying what you want to say. This is a good example of that, too.