Fluid in my Spine

Sometimes, I just feel GREAT!

Sometimes I get this feeling,

one that I cannot properly differentiate from others

it is at first a pop,

spark,

then fizzle!

The next thing I know I am woven,

fluid is in my spine and I just can’t stop!

Weave it to the left,

snaking back to the right;

such an exhilarating experience!

As high as a kite,

when a baby bird first takes flight

I dance under the influence of the sun,

and softly sway under the withered gaze of

the deep-rooted moon.

 

I must say, it reminds me oddly of the taste of wine,

this phenomenal fluid that is in my spine!

Author's Note

What is this spell? Another poem!? This is outrageous! I cannot write a poem to save my twelfth dimesional life, and here I am with another!? Well, this is more than likely going to be another piece of garbage, but enjoy (if you can) mortals~

(And yes, this is how I felt yesterday, whilst dancing to the amazing cover of "99 balloons" by Goldfinger <3)

Reviews

[Tony]

Well, I am not sure this preoccupation with the old 99luftballoons song is healthy, but hey...... whatever opens your vortex.
The poem is delightfully alien, entertaining and original.
The author's imagination level is staggering.

[Just Cat]

I've now read two of your poems, and I have to say your style makes me laugh. I honestly don't why though. It seems to have a life of its own. I like the imagery in this piece though.
p.s. Keep practicing your poetry, it'll just get better :)

[guiltyascharged]

I like this. It's deep.

[mir]

This poem is very excitingly expressive---I like the italicized words that emphasize the process of actions. Well written of your adventurous state. I really like your well-worded lines in the main body of this poem, and the rhyming in the last two lines wrap it up well with a touch of class! It reads well---I like it---and who cares if it makes sense or not; it's not garbage----IT'S WHO YOU ARE!

If you don't mind the minor corrections, perhaps the first "a" in the third line should be the word "at," and I would recommend adding the word "then" (nonitalicized) before "fizzle" to complete the indicated timing in that sentence.
Lastly, maybe replace the word "The" with "Then" in the sixth line to prevent redundancy. Everything else reads great.

Outstanding poetry!