Foul

short, directed towards emotional expression; using symbolic confessionalism, semi-rhyme, minimalism. This is no haiku. Steem's off - haikus & tankas & shi & no & alltherest fir Japanese, that's best.

Foul

 

The sun has set

behind the windows of a black car -

all day I hadn’t  met

 

a soul beyond this body,

seat-belted and far.

I don’t feel sorry

 

for the dying blossom

lying in a drying scar.

 

© Artūrs Lūsis
23.07.2010

Author's Note

Preferably, at least read it ;)

Reviews

[Emily B]

again, sublime poetics

glad to read you once more

[Crow]

A wieldy manifestation of words to provoke a literary image.

I am awe struck.

[Emily B]

bare, minimal but powerful expression

[Vyctm]

I don't really understand this piece. It seems to be too short for all that you say it is about. It may be the fact that I'm not good with haiku format but I think one or two more stanzas would be a good addition to it.

[Artūrs Lūsis]

Well, it is a piece of pure reflection of my emotioned mind, the state it has had when I was writing it. Therefore, I think, any interpretation can be suitable, but, of course, I have my own; but I never share my own explanations of why-n-how, for that breaks the magic, both for the other reader and myself. Everything is intentional, though, this was a stream of consciousness originally, but has been edited since.

[Miss Coral]

I'm not sure if I fully understand this, but I do love the language and rhyme scheme. Great imagery as well, especially for such a short piece. Nice write altogether. :)

-Coral-