Deliverer

An old poem, one of my first in English, ed. 2010, but not much changed

Deliverer

"Touch me, fill me, empty me,
be my demonic priest"

Take a few steps towards me
and you will reach the empty silent void
the godlike matter the form of true life
the greasy slimy snail of time

dark blossoms with sharp
convoluted edges and rigid blue
leaves shelter us from the sunlight
here we can face our true mission
we hold hands and cry together
with the fiery wind and dusty
faces of people walking by.

These walls aren’t gentle and warm
they creep into our souls and preach their
dark deities they consume and swallow
our empathy and clearance of mind.

Be with me demonic priest
guardian of doom and candlelight
take us both into your cave and save
from this homogeneousness we call
morning evening sun and moon.

The streets are kinder the savage forests
the endless fields and plains of green breath
welcome us
a warm smile and we fall asleep.

© Artūrs Lūsis
04.05.2009., Thursday, evening (ed. of 09.2010)

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

Loved the tone of this piece, and the emotion of the imagery. Great write... loved the phrasing as well. I think that perhaps towards the beginning (not the smaller font, but after that), parts of it could be a bit smooth, but otherwise, I think this was great.
Wonderfully penned.

-Coral-

[Artūrs Lūsis]

Odd, but I cannot get the smaller font out - I'll try, for it shouldn't be there in that way.

[Crow]

I loved the feeling, truly inspiring for me to reach into the dank corners of my psyche.

[Artūrs Lūsis]

It is fair to say, though, this poem is an early one of mine, also quite improvised, although it's now in its third edition, in which I've open up a view locked parts that may have even shamed me before, but not anymore. The first two lines of it were buried away, actually, that is a major change for this piece.

[Amit Parmessur]

Liked it perfectly.

We should not go too far as

"Touch me, fill me, empty me,
be my demonic priest"

are already so nice as words to start an impressive work.