The City In The Sky

Once when I was five years old or so
my father told me this story
in a distant place a long time ago
there was a city in all its glory
this place was hidden up high in the sky
and within its walls there lived its sire
a wise old wizard with just one eye
able to fulfill whatever a man could desire.

Once when I was six years old or so
I wished to reach the city in the sky
I had only one wish in mind, I know
"I wish my father had said goodbye".

Reviews

[Chris G. Vaillancourt]

a perfectly put together poem

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

A interesting and imaginative idea and a lovely story. It made me wonder about 'the city in the sky' and what it must be like. I'd love to have read more about it but other than that it's a poem that makes the readers mind wander and the ending is very sad but full of good heart.

[Kaiodem]

Rhyming! I absolutely love rhyming in poems, especially this one. This makes me want to go up to the place in the sky. The last sentence makes me fill up with sadness.

[Arabdha]

I swear I had tears in my eyes after reading this..the pathos are beautifully potrayed..

[SugarlessGiRL]

Beautiful. It leaves me speechless. =)

[Water_the_Sun]

The story portrayed in this story is beautiful, and the end is chilling, it leaves itself open to the reader, leaves you questioning what happened? Death, divorce, a sudden emotional detatchment, there are so many ways that one line could be understood, and it takes a good writer to make that kind of thign work. I like it:)

[Deepshikha]

It feels like you were referring to heaven, but I feel like your 'city' is better than heaven. I felt like that elation came crashing down in those last two lines, very perfectly. Love it!

[Aurora Night]

Very creative i love it. i can see this being a story to.

[LittleMadGirl]

You get the feeling of a nice story about a six year old or something but the last line is so full of sadness!
It's great, how this poem flows and the tone is fitting, too.
This one is good again
And the rhyming is fantastic!

[Ashley]

Wow short but beautiful. Well put together, the rhyming scheme was done gracefully without sounding corny, and the message was intriguing. Well done :)