Flux

Banging on impermeable

Sound-proof walls

Of this hour glass,

Slowly filling to the brim

With skin scorching,

Suffocating sands of

If only

And shattered seashells of

Too late.

Roads take sharp turns,

The grit flowing backwards

In disordered fluctuation,

Tearing at the psych

In a torrent fit for

The asylum of

Could be

And hopeful chant of

I can…

Author's Note

Came to me during work today for some reason.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

OK .. can not help but be curious as to your work place!? :) i think those little bold phrases .. such common self talk quotes is a great idea .. they bring your poem home to everyone .. and the images and feel of rasping over road rash in between is exquisitely tormenting .. after all that the relief of that beautiful little action potential .." I can..."
glad i stopped here this morning .. nice one!
E.

[Ashira Macy]

I work at a pizza joint and I hate it. Lol! But yeah, this was just how I was feeling one day. Negativity warped suddenly into positivety. Glad you liked it!

[Einstein Noodle]

i worked at an Italian Restaurant in upstate NY many moons ago and learned to toss pizza dough .. i use to amuse my children with my skill when they were little pepperonis :)
E.

[Saddam]

Tearing at the psych
In a torrent fit for
The asylum of
Could be
And hopeful chant of
I can…

Wonderful write dear friend.....

[Mr_M]

I have read some of the previous reviews and know how it feels to be in a job you do not like. I agree with you that it can lead you down a corridor of doors that maybe don't open to rooms of bright white light. However, I feel the dark rooms hold more creativity and truth at times. The poem transports you behind the glass and onto the hill of sand. As I continued to read I felt the walls closing in and the need to escape. The last words "I can, " I imagined on an emergency hatch leading out of the hour glass to new dreams and goals.

It was great to read.

[Coyote Poetry]

I love your poetry. Had a drive and always interesting pattern.
"The asylum of
Could be
And hopeful chant of
I can…"
The above lines are amazing. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Dilan Gunawardana]

I like how claustrophobic this piece feels..even the font is a little suffocating. I like the fact that there was a bit of optimism at the end. It felt like a release. Did you feel trapped or stifled when you wrote this?

[Zakari Schmidt]

I love the hourglass setting, makes me wish I'd thought of such a foundation. I've always been fascinated with the concept of time, clocks, etc. I wonder, in this poem, what happens when the hourglass flips and time starts again, if you're a grain of sand in the collection and have no concept of age or deadlines like who watches you fall all over yourself and each other... I find the idea of such repetition mind blowing. I guess it's all metaphorical anyway but still. Once the page of a calendar is turned it's no more..tell me then, what was it for?

Sorry I'm rambling, I just really liked this lol

[micky]

I love everything about this piece you drifted to a dark place and then bam out of the blue is I can. Beautiful AShira absolutely beautiful!!!!

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Micky! Sometimes we have to be in our darkest place before we can be rejuvenated by hope yet again!

[Igarin]

I am trying to come to terms with it, I like your writing don't get me wrong...

[Ashira Macy]

No worries, this is complicated and multi-layered, not to mention super abstract.

[Skai Rain]

This could be taken quite a few different ways, which may be why I like it so much. It really is very well written. The suffocating sands... deep and brilliant.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Brit!