who I am on the outside and within

story about the turth of myself

 

    was in angery child, was my anger justified, i would cry myself to sleep at night, and scream at god in the morning, was i justified in doing this, mother said not to be anger at god but for he does things for reason and purpose, i didn't care what my mother said she too was a traitor to me. I was a diease in my mind, growing up was very hard, no one wanted to understand, i guess that alright since i could't understand. looking up in the sky i ask god why he made me the way i am, of course no answer, so i went to church and spend 7 years finding out the answer and all i got was the samething that my mother told me. i scream out that i just want to be normal, that i dont want this condition, this diease. why me, why me i keep asking over the years, someone that wants to learn wants to soak up the books, to understand many things, to solve those really hard math question.

 

Has a child i was always told what i can't and can do, with schools, and my parents

schools told me i won't be able the past the 8 grade, i graduated high school, some college. my parents says i would stay home and be able to move out on my own

i got married, im divorce, got my apartment. always holding a jobs.

 

let me help you understand and maybe you can tell me if my anger was justified

i have a learning disability, when you look at me i seem normally

get me and a classroom and you find the truth. im always telling myself that

i am dumb, stupied, that god only did have the work in making me half

retard, that sometime i wish that i was never born, though i never tell my mother.

was been ashamed of the diease i was. was my anger justified?

 

 

Author's Note

having a learning disability for 25 years now, i learn to deal with it the best i can, i dont have the same throughts as i did, and im no longer angery with god, kids and adults that have learning disability are not stupid, they are just trying to understand why they can't be normally like others.

Reviews

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

We adapt, adjust to this world in our own way. Such a brave write my friend,