The Wind

The wind flows
Under his wings
I jump
I leap
I land
I fall
My bird flies away
into the distance
And now I am alone
Falling
Going to save her
Shes gone
Why?
Her bird
Pressed by the weight of loss
The stone statue
The sun
It's too much
Zelda's gone
again
My sword
Shines
I close my eyes
and take it all in
trees
the woods
and butterflies
but I can't smile
because she's gone
why?
I don't know.
I know only two things
I love her
and I will find her
Soon

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Well, I think you've put your heart into this to some degree, but I think this could definitely do with a bit more vivid and heightened imagery in places, just to spice things up, and if I were you I'd keep this more generic than not. It's not really explained who 'Zelda' is and I think if you just referred to her as 'she' or 'her' it'd be more powerful.