Fall of Mankind

The wind is hot and arid.

Rubble crunches beneath their bare feet,

As they march in mindless unison.

Chains dig deeper into their skin.

A few cry out in pain,

Only to be reprimanded back into submission.

 

Their masters ruthless and cruel.

Driving the slave train on.

They sought world dominance,

Offering no pentenace.

 

All around lay civilization,

Dead and barren.

The world is a wasteland.

 

The wind is hot and arid.

Rubble crunches beneath their bare feet,

As they march on in mindless unison.

Chains dig deeper into their flesh.

A few cry out in pain,

Only to be reprimanded back into submission.

 

Death's sorrowful odor lingers.

Decay smothers every foundation.

Imprints of times past linger,

Unattainable to those yearning for its return.

 

The human race once thrived.

Very little still survives.

Robots once under their control,

It seems as if the tables have turned.

Reviews

[Pakino]

Dark and gloomy :( haha

[Morgan Ashire]

Do I detect possible lyrics? Even if not, until the mention of robots, I got a very Egyptian feel from this piece. Maybe you can see it too? All together, it was a decent piece, although I would loved to have seen a rhyme scheme. As a free form piece, it most definitely worked, but I think it could have had a lot more since you have no bar on words. A good piece though. 80/100

[Jessica Fox]

ooooh the desperation in this poem is screaming at the reader, great job! Also like the slight repetitiveness

[Stephen Ownby]

Our past sins are our future damnation... I like it.

[emz]

It gave me goosebumps, a fantastic account of past disgraces... powerful in word.

xx

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Chilling...very chilling.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

This one was awesome as well. You should check out my "Literary Anthology" where the death and rebirth of human culture are investigated by a number of like-minded authors.

-Gabe