My Cherub

'When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.' Mark Twain. 'Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.' La Bruyere.

 

(The story of a dear friend)

 

Along with the deranged she looked,

All in all, relatively subdued.

Although, I knew of her feelings etched

Alongside the woes of her childhood.

Being for what it was intended, St. George’s was,

Broadly, no different to any other asylum.

Beds against white washed walls, lunatics with their

Bodies strapped to their beds, straight jackets and all.

            Her image, girlfriend, perplexity

            And her awkward upbringing all contributed,

            But, she said herself, ‘once a cutter, always a cutter’

            And always a cutter she was.

Could she perhaps be, in an alternate reality,

Comfortably sat in her rocking chair on the porch?

Children, namely Kevin, William, Rose and Poppy,

Cantering around her with not a worry in the world.

Definitely, I could never doubt this, there would be a

Delightfully delicious cake baking at 180

Degrees Celsius, and it would be ‘utterly

Delectable, if I may say so myself!’

            I remember so vividly

One day in the month of August when, cliché intended,

We sat in a meadow of upmost beauty,

The birds darting over and around our tent with

Unbelievable accuracy, the farm dogs

That she threw water over. Perfection.

Eloquent as she was, and open as she liked to think,

Excluding her detailed descriptions of her sex life, she

Evaded ever showing us the real her, that’s

Essentially why I can’t decide: sorrow, or bliss?

 

Reviews

[ChristianM]

This reminds me greatly of a dear friend of mine. She's bright and cheerful yet at the same time seems to be dying inside, and there's not much left to try that I already haven't given a go. Great portrayal of the girl who wanted all these things but didn't know or told herself it was not possible. Really a mirror image of my friend.

[Anicca]

I like this a lot... I read this and wondered for a long while how your friend will turn out, I hope the latter occurs in the end.

[Bertie]

This poem is wonderful. It shows very clearly the life that is and the life that might've been. So crystal clear, you can see it... It's what helps make it so tragic.
Its got great themes of loss, despair, the light gone out, but the neautiful imagery in it softensthe edge makes it more thoughtful and poignant...
Or at least that how it seems to me lol
Well done !

[Blakprinze (Vincent J.)]

I have written about "cutters" in the past (not as eloquently or beautifully) and it is hard to imagine someone doing that to themselfs (having not been one). I'ts been said that "they dont cut themselves to just hurt themselves" they cut to feel real or to have a different pain than an emotional one they're having. It's like controlling the hurt (though it's a physical one),I guess. Anyway, loved your words.

Peace

Blak

[cest la vie]

Your ending line was exactly my question as well? Sorrow or bliss??
You have yet to fail in displaying a poem with multi-layers of mutiple meanings.
Outstanding, again. Guess I better just pull up a comfortable chair in this library..

[FiveOrchids]

again, I love how you write, no matter how sad the story is. This is so strong and true for so many.

[Cool Handless Luke]

very interesting and splendid personification. i am curious of the abcde format. 5 steps program? the abc's of life? at any rate it is another fibe write.

[Katie]

The pain that this poem shows is almost enchanting. I love your form of your poems. Its completely different than what I am used to reading- which is a damn good thing. You have a lot of talent and I am sure this piece meant a lot to whoever you gave it to. Great job!

[heido]

This is lovely, the imagary is enticing.

The sadness radiates, which is not usually a characteristic of sadness so it's masterfull..

Once a cutter, always a cutter.

I had a girl who was like my sister say to me once, that she cut to watch something about her heal..

I didn't approve, didnt understand, but learnt a little more about what she needed.