My First

'Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.' - Anon.

 

In a place for lovers of coffee, where I was a lover for Him,

Not for coffee, I despise coffee; I now despise coffee shops,

He told me to remember the good times, and walked away.

           Alas, the Him I speak of is not the Him

           I spoke of, which is unfortunate, because

           It took Him to eradicate Him, well it took

           More than Him, it took a blow job, if you

           Want me to be quite honest with you.

           And, may I add, to be harsh to Him.

I can also be honest and say I've never had a breakdown

In a public toilet, until yesterday. I've also never

Had a fifty year old man try to stop me committing suicide:

          Though, to be frank I wasn't trying to commit

          Suicide by looking out of the third floor window.

          I was trying to see where He had gone, which way

          He had walked down the street so I could follow.

The only word on my mind now is: Why? So, so cliché I know -

But all humans are the same so how can I be original in my

Feelings about losing someone so dear to me? Not death, by the way.

And! And why the f**k did He leave me in that f*****g coffee shop

When He f*****g knew I wasn't good with directing myself back to

The station, or even finding my way out the front door in my state!

        All I can think of is "Why didn't I say more?"

        But the answer is, well if I spoke I would have

        Cried so hard and he would have been embarrassed.

Never mind, never the f*****g mind eh?

"Remember the good times, remember when: dot dot dot,

You've still got a pair of my boxers, my two favourite books,

Remember me and the good times we had."

        No. I can't. I feel lost, humiliated, used, built up to be knocked straight back down again.

 

        No, I can't.

 

Reviews

[cest la vie]

This is difficult to review as it is reality not someone else's pain..
The style in which you wrote this is a flawless free verse.. flawless.
The pain the writer describes is a personal one, yet man y of us can relate to the rejection of our love/attention to another.

Cliche' phrases are not needed here. Writing and looking deep within are what is..
I thank you so much for sharing such a personal & painful write.
Lynne

[Clockwork]

It is like trying on the skin of someone else. The characters are believable and the speaker is credible as a result of the bluntly honest tone you used. It is a very nice free form piece.

[Doctor JKC]

Are we not all looking for the reflection
of ourselves described in adjectives?

Excellent and heartfelt,
Jack

[heido]

I find that if your hurting in any way, it's a sign that you were truely loved, and loved truely in return.

Sorry, my optism prevails.

[FiveOrchids]

poem or not, it's f*****g powerfull and awesome.
f*****g sucks to have someone beark up with you like that. it's humiliating!