diary entry // 10-10-14

you don't even look at me now.

December is the deepest pit I've ever crawled out of. It took two months for you to fall in love, and six to realize I didn't love you back.
Maybe it was the way you smiled when you held my hand, or the way you smoked when you were sad that made me think I could love you.
But I can't. And you know that now.
I'm sorry I didn't kiss you. I'm sorry I was the distance between us. And most of all, I'm sorry I only miss you now that you're gone.

You were the best thing I've ever had, but you also just happened to be the only thing I never wanted.