What is happening to mother India?

What is happening to mother India?

A Poem by Avanthika
"

When the whole world prays for gaza, am afraid they are unable to look at themselves. Before we point our fingers on our neighbouring nation, let’s have a look on our country.

"

                         

                                                     What is happening to mother India?

                                                     It is becoming a ferocious encyclopedia.

A girl got raped,

And the man escaped.

The whole seen obtained videotaped,

with the case being reshaped.

                                                      The poor become the poorer

                                                      And the rich become the richer.

                                                     Ones who sacrificed their lives for amity,

                                                      are now taking lives for enmity.


People sitting in front of TV, cheering favorite team,

soldiers battling hard, to attain everyone’s dream.

One man one religion,

has divided every region.

                                                    What is happening to mother India,

                                                   It has become a ferocious encyclopedia.


 Pray for Gaza, Pray for India

 

 

 

 


© 2014 Avanthika



Author's Note

Avanthika
How effective is the poem in making people realize the truth?

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Featured Review

Whilst the metaphor (well it's hardly a metaphor these are facts really) is simple and effective, the deliverance is again hindered by a 'lost in translation' issue. I've mentioned this in my other review and the same advice applies here. There's greatness sitting right in front of you, but this needs to be edited by someone with a very firm grasp on both your ideas and the English language to truly let the beauty of this poem out. I hope you find them because I can't wait to see what your words will become, and what you will deliver next.

-Robin

Posted 3 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Christopher Robin

3 Years Ago

No i totally understand your confusion, what I intended and how it reads would confuse me as well if.. read more
Jamie R. Robillard Sr.

3 Years Ago

'and autocorrect is the all of our bane!' clearly, I need more coffee!
Avanthika

3 Years Ago

once again thank you robin, as promised will read the works of writers you told me



Reviews

Very nice message but I find the poem half as expressive and appropriate way to deliver it. But yes, it is hard hitting and thought provoking, even for an optimist like me, so yes you have done a good job. Keep writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's wonderful and thought provoking...nice work...:)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

For some reason this is the truth of our nation, showing finger towards neighbour nation better we need to correct ourself. I agree with your thought Avantika but I can't judge how much effective it is. For me setting and spelling error ( I mean short form ) is not stopping me.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is an effective poem, displaying your emotions and views well. I feel just as strongly as you the whole world is divided when we are exactly the same. Thank you for sharing it with me, to know you have the same thoughts and views so far away. I am sorry we live this way as human beings.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A really good and effective poem which appeals to everyone! Good Job!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

3 Years Ago

thank you so much Megha :)
This is undoubtedly the poem of opening heart ,full of feelings and the vibrent issue that is the safety of countrymen's not only on Gaza where it has been a deep-rooted disease of highly fanatic kind of persons so also India been in the state of upheaval..nice writing..I just love it...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

3 Years Ago

:) ..........thank you
You are a potential writer my friend...and your thoughts, the contexts are overwhelming...

If I may, I would point out that there is a need of editing. Somewhere, the feeling is not completely understood. And what I believe is you are thinking in one language (probably your mother tongue) and then literally translating it to english...in that case, consider thinking in English and words would fit in innocently and effectively...editing is must either by self or by somebody proficient in the language and have the ability to walk your concepts...

I look forward for a masterpiece from you and I am sure I don't have to wait long

Cheers!!!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

3 Years Ago

Defiintely friend, any suggestions for improving the language which will help me out to think englis.. read more
Dipanjan Dutta

3 Years Ago

Read, read and read...the simplest way to improve

Talk to yourself...alone....and in E.. read more
Avanthika

3 Years Ago

thanks a lot frnd , i will improve , hence am gonna start right now :)
Truly touching. Punch was
One man one religion,

has divided every region....
That has indeed done a lot of harm.
Too good.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

3 Years Ago

happy to hear you liked it :)
really true...nation needs a change and we bring that change...nice piece of poem :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

3 Years Ago

once again thanks buddy
Happy hours

3 Years Ago

you're most welcome dear

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766 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 1, 2014
Last Updated on August 27, 2014
Tags: life, inspiration, love, peace, humanity, prayers, religious

Author

Avanthika
Avanthika

Kochin, Gods own country, India



About
Young girl who likes to call herself as a writer, reading is not my kind of thing but "I read to write". My usual is quite unusual. more..

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