Life without you is very tough

Life without you is very tough

A Poem by Avanthika
"

like every mother daughter relation we too had complaints for each other, but then they say it rightly you never know what you have until you loose it and so do i now realize what she was for me.

"
What is the thing she fears,
I saw her eyes full of tears.

What did i do to make you cry?
what do you want me to try?

There is something you must see,
can you live without me?

She let herself meant to die,
saying everyone good-bye.

Everyone says that was the end,
my mom says never bend.

I pray to god,let it be a dream,
but life moves like a narrow stream.

I have to travel a long mile,
the only way to bring your smile.

I traveled the road very rough.
Life without you is very tough,
Life without you is very tough. 

© 2014 Avanthika


Author's Note

Avanthika
if the lines makes you remember of your mom, am rewarded. So , definitely need your opinion.

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Featured Review

well this poem is mix of emotions and splendid story but the feel of the poem is destroyed with the usage of words i feel that the words at some places are squeezed to rhyme like
(I have to travel a long mile,
the only way to bring your smile)
.. try some good set of words to make it more powerful there are lot of set of words just explore and play with it without missing the core of the poem .. enjoyed reading it nice poem :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

good write, thanks for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

thank you jamie
For me the mother daughter relationship was always important, and for some a mom is all they so those complaints can risk a lot... of course some have a father as well. Beautifully written, the ending is so emotional and I like the ending. Well done and beautifully written. Great poem

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

thanks a lot Rachel, indeed mother always comes first.
No one loves like the mother in this world. Kuputro jayet kwachidapi kumata na bhavati. A son or daughter can be unworthy, never a mother (excluding exceptions).
'.....There is something you must see,can you live without me?.....'
This poem is written in a very emotive way. Thank you for sharing this affecting and wonderful poetry :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

Glad you liked it, my pleasure Rehan
Beautiful, I just can't say that how my life is depended on my mother... and I can't imagine how can I live without her.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

thank you Mayank, you are so fortunate to have your mother.just make her happy always.
This was sad, but also so honest. I think we all have a love/hate relationship with our parents at some stage,
When we feel that their "protectiveness" is taking away our freedom. Then we become parents and the whole pattern repeats itself.
Your last three lines emphasised the fact that we eventually realise what we learned from them
A very moving poem expressing so much with a minimum of words. Well done.

Norman

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

thank you so much sir, am very happy you liked my poem
Very intimate feeling expressed here and a such it would have been difficult that it would have had invoked me Mom I am sorry as it did not bring those memories but, it brough others as it gave me the image of someone that you held dear and you had related in your own unique way as it mean for you more than we can see.

So for the shring I thankyou.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avanthika

9 Years Ago

thank you Rene, thank you so much dr

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36 Reviews
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Added on August 22, 2014
Last Updated on August 22, 2014
Tags: mother, daughter, love, life, tears, toughlife

Author

Avanthika
Avanthika

Canada



About
I'm a 19 year old classics student (study of Ancient Greece & Rome + Latin & Ancient Greek), and I like to read and write in my spare time. more..

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