Two halves of a whole

Two halves of a whole

A Poem by AFX787359
"

Life...Death, Time...Space, Love...Hate, Peace...War. All two halves of a whole. One always needs the other to live on.

"

I’ve never seen before,


Peace without war.


Humans are blind.


Yet at the same so kind.


Men kill each other.


And the same they suffer…


To fill their bloodlust,


Kill another they must!


Two halves of a whole:


Peace and War.


Never one without the other:


Death and Life.


Coexistence:


Time and Space.


Be together they must:


Lies and Truth.


Two halves of a whole,


I’ve seen this before!


Peace without war:


Exist it shall never!

© 2010 AFX787359


Author's Note

AFX787359
Ok, so this is the very first poem that I have ever written that is this long. :P I know it sucks, but please tell me what you think! And so....

As always...

Reviews are appreciated. :P

My Review

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Featured Review

I like the concept very much, the halves of a whole concept.
You've got some awkward phrasing like, "Be together they must"...which makes you sound like Yoda...and that is only acceptable in some cases. Heh.
And also "Exist it shall never!" Might want to work on that a bit.
You also started out rhyming, but that kind of fell apart as the poem went through.
Other than the style and mechanical errors, I think you've got a good start.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like the concept very much, the halves of a whole concept.
You've got some awkward phrasing like, "Be together they must"...which makes you sound like Yoda...and that is only acceptable in some cases. Heh.
And also "Exist it shall never!" Might want to work on that a bit.
You also started out rhyming, but that kind of fell apart as the poem went through.
Other than the style and mechanical errors, I think you've got a good start.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Added on March 12, 2010
Last Updated on March 12, 2010
Tags: Two halves of a whole, Rhyme, Life, Death, Peace, War, Time, Space

Author

AFX787359
AFX787359

Monroeville, PA



About
Hey, I'm a sarcastic person who has a bad and unusual sense of humor. I love reading and writing, two of my favorite hobbies. more..

Writing
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A Story by AFX787359