She jumped

This is the story of a woman who jumped.
From the side of the cliff in the town she was born.
Everyone knew this story for years and years.
But few people told it with their eyes full of tears.
She was born in a modest cottage, shielded from the world.
With all she could ever need, and parents filled with love.
She never had a trouble, her smile as big as her heart
Her parents always struggled, and she saw their work was hard
So she was mostly too content, to ask for something grand
For all she could ask for, was holding both her hands
She grew into a beauty, that men would fight to have
But he sheltered heart knew nothing, but the path she yearned to carve
Her parents loved her dearly, though sometimes it hardly showed
And sometimes her mother cried, like she'd end up all alone
She felt like she carried the weight of the family
Like she was the glue that held it together finally.
The world is evil, the world is hard, you have to be strong.
Her mother always told her, and in her eyes the world was wrong
She moved away, to make something good of herself
She trusted way too much and got hurt by some she called her friends.
After all the heartbreaks and lonely, quiet days
She learned not to trust, in just what someone says
She lost her shine and happiness, demons took over her mind
Her spirit searched for lasting peace which was so hard to find
Finally, she came back home, tired of the world outside.
Hoping to find some quiet peace, right by the mountain side.
The day she came, before the sun set, her mother cried again
She tried to be strong but the demons played a game
In her mind to see how much she'd fall
She wanted to pull her hair, hit her head on the wall
But instead, she ran and prayed God would forgive her when she was done.
And she looked from the cliff, with the wind calling to her... she jumped.

Reviews

[pia]

this is legit the most beautiful thing ive read so far.
the poem told a story, a really sad story of a girl going through so much in life and so much pain that finally drove her towards ending it all.
you poetically told the story in a beautiful manner. i loved loved loved it. the rhyme and structure was outstanding. the feelings and emotions were brilliant. many times we all go through such feelings if not in such a severe way. people need to realise how their actions can affect others. THIS WAS A JOB WELL DONE !!!
critique; line 12, you forgot to put the letter 'r' for 'her'
thats it no other mistakes
this wasbeautiful

[Avia]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate all your nice words and encouragement. I'm grateful for the motivation. ☺

[Lily Calico]

Wow. That was heart wrenching, but I loved it. I also like it very much when you rhyme. :)

[Avia]

Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliment :)

[Lily Calico]

You're welcome!

[Kate Z.]

A sad story well written. One can feel her despair.

[Najam Us Saher]

Even though you mentioned in the first line that this is a story of a woman who jumped, the effect was felt only in the last line. It hit me hard. Very capturing beginning and heart wrenching end.

[Avia]

Thanks for reading. I'm glad the story captivated you. In this story, the townspeople only knew she jumped, nobody knew what made her jump. I guess i just wanted to show that sometimes things silently push us and we don't realize.

[Najam Us Saher]

You are right. You are most welcome.