Right Now

Right Now

A Poem by Avia
"

Writing while waiting

"
The noise,
The subliminal noise.
Just under the tussle in my mind.
Thoughts in my head.
Racing, tracing thoughts.
Questions to find answers to,
Doubts to quench.
This is what i know right now.
At this very moment,
A moment of building anticipation.

© 2017 Avia



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Featured Review

This is essentially what goes through a lot of writers' heads as we wait for the Muse to kick in. It's well written, well structured, the musicality flows. The only thing I would suggest is to have a stronger kicker. The last line doesn't pack as big of a punch as a last line for such a poem should. Play with it. The musicality flows through it superbly, so there's nothing wrong with the form (or the line itself for that matter)- just a suggestion to see if you could moil for more gold than what you have now, for if there's a chance of a stronger line, take it, for poem can always use that extra punch (especially on the last line). Well done!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks so much. I am glad you took the time to read it and comment. I would review the last line an.. read more



Reviews

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Zoe
We all have gone through that feeling. For me, existential crisis kicks in any moment on like every other day, so I could relate all the more. You captured reality well in your piece!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks a lot Zoe. Sometimes I feel like having these in my head makes me crazy, but oh well.
Zoe

3 Weeks Ago

I understand. And you're welcome.
This is cool.I know its about writing but to me its anxiety.
The jumble of worries hidden deep in the mind, slowly coming to surface. At first a subliminial noise then they come racing flooding.
Question to find answers to are the doubts, so many that come pouring in, all of them needing answers.
It builds and builds as you anticipate the morning, the moment all the fears are faced.
Either way its a fun read, with a zip to the words that jumps from one line to the next.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks for reading.
"At this very moment,/ A moment of building anticipation.
I adore this line. It sets the mood and makes me feel what the protagonist is feeling. Utter unknowning.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading
PandaPeaceful

1 Month Ago

No problem! Thank you!
"Doubts to quench."
What a superb line. Really well done, I know the feeling all too well. Keep writing!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much
A very true representation of confused mind. I really liked this.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot. I can almost always count on your review, it means a lot.
Najam Us Saher

1 Month Ago

So kind of you. You are most welcome. ☺
This is essentially what goes through a lot of writers' heads as we wait for the Muse to kick in. It's well written, well structured, the musicality flows. The only thing I would suggest is to have a stronger kicker. The last line doesn't pack as big of a punch as a last line for such a poem should. Play with it. The musicality flows through it superbly, so there's nothing wrong with the form (or the line itself for that matter)- just a suggestion to see if you could moil for more gold than what you have now, for if there's a chance of a stronger line, take it, for poem can always use that extra punch (especially on the last line). Well done!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks so much. I am glad you took the time to read it and comment. I would review the last line an.. read more

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6 Reviews
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Added on September 28, 2017
Last Updated on September 28, 2017
Tags: Moment, thoughts

Author

Avia
Avia

About
Writing is my means of expression. I may not be perfect in my writing but i appreciate this platform to share my thoughts and everyone that takes time to read and comment on my writing. more..

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