But you don't see it

But you don't see it

A Poem by Avia
"

Words of a broken heart

"
The light in my eyes has faded
But you don't see it
Salty water drips down my face
But you don't see it
My heart has been badly bruised
But you don't see it
I'm on my way out that door
I just want you to see me
One day you'll look for me
But you won't see me

© 2017 Avia



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

These words ring so true. How many times in our life is our pain ignored and unseen by others.
The end is my favorite because that to me is the truest part. When ending a relationship sometimes we want nothing more then for the other person to beg for us back-to be seen. Yet as time goes on and they change there mind -one day they look for us.
At this point are pain turns into gratitute that they let us go knowing we could do better and will never return-hence you wont see me.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

3 Months Ago

Well said... Thank you.



Reviews

I love the last two lines! They're powerful!! I'm a fan of your poetry. Stay great :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


I just want you to see me
One day you'll look for me
But you won't see me

LOVE this part, This is full of feeling. I can feel it tug on a heart.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks Avani. I'm glad you like it :)
You write so beautifully :)

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

Awww, thank you. :)
I can relate to it..... It really feels suffocating when you become invisible to those.... Who are near to you... But as matter of fact... We clearly start to think about the denials we receive from them and forget about those who can actually see right through us..... Great work

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

Exactly. But there's something to take away from those times when we think no one cares. Sometimes i.. read more
anonymous_at

3 Months Ago

you are welcome...:)
These words ring so true. How many times in our life is our pain ignored and unseen by others.
The end is my favorite because that to me is the truest part. When ending a relationship sometimes we want nothing more then for the other person to beg for us back-to be seen. Yet as time goes on and they change there mind -one day they look for us.
At this point are pain turns into gratitute that they let us go knowing we could do better and will never return-hence you wont see me.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

3 Months Ago

Well said... Thank you.
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

You don't see it, I do not see it... The bruises from the door, and eyes drawn-black from fights... The taste of salt without an accompanying morsel... Always signals bad... Blindingly open poem, but will we see it...

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

Thanks for the welcome☺. Nice write up. I just hope we don't get hung up on people who won't see u.. read more
Silente

3 Months Ago

Agreed, and most welcome...
One day you'll look for me,
You have hope, that is good but don't be discouraged if that person doesn't realise and seek you. Heartfelt words, made me a bit emotional. Loved it.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

Yh, hope is really hard to let go of, even when it's not changing anything. Thanks Najam.
Najam Us Saher

3 Months Ago

You're most welcome.
Inspiring and melancholic reflection when love is lost.Nice flow and great depth to this sad but yet inspiring piece of writing

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

Thank you. ☺
Smoking Man

3 Months Ago

You're welcome 😊
Remove from "I don't think...." to "....don't see me" (for those two lines just undermine the power of the whole piece, and they're implied by the previous lines), and this would be absolutely divine! Well freaking done!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Avia

3 Months Ago

This means so much. I've made the corrections and I think this is better. Thanks a lot 😊
Dreadfully Invisible

Great Read

Matthew

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

3 Months Ago

Thanks Matthew :)
Matthew Kult

3 Months Ago

You are welcome

Matthew

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

360 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 5, 2017
Last Updated on November 5, 2017
Tags: Heartbreak, tears

Author

Avia
Avia

About
Taking this life's journey one step at a time with faith. I love to write and I enjoy reading beautiful pieces of writing. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..