But you don't see it

But you don't see it

A Poem by Avia
"

Words of a broken heart

"
The light in my eyes has faded
But you don't see it
Salty water drips down my face
But you don't see it
My heart has been badly bruised
But you don't see it
I'm on my way out that door
I just want you to see me
One day you'll look for me
But you won't see me

© 2017 Avia



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Featured Review

These words ring so true. How many times in our life is our pain ignored and unseen by others.
The end is my favorite because that to me is the truest part. When ending a relationship sometimes we want nothing more then for the other person to beg for us back-to be seen. Yet as time goes on and they change there mind -one day they look for us.
At this point are pain turns into gratitute that they let us go knowing we could do better and will never return-hence you wont see me.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Well said... Thank you.



Reviews

You write so beautifully :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


Avia

1 Week Ago

Awww, thank you. :)
I can relate to it..... It really feels suffocating when you become invisible to those.... Who are near to you... But as matter of fact... We clearly start to think about the denials we receive from them and forget about those who can actually see right through us..... Great work

Posted 1 Week Ago


Avia

1 Week Ago

Exactly. But there's something to take away from those times when we think no one cares. Sometimes i.. read more
anonymous_at

1 Week Ago

you are welcome...:)
These words ring so true. How many times in our life is our pain ignored and unseen by others.
The end is my favorite because that to me is the truest part. When ending a relationship sometimes we want nothing more then for the other person to beg for us back-to be seen. Yet as time goes on and they change there mind -one day they look for us.
At this point are pain turns into gratitute that they let us go knowing we could do better and will never return-hence you wont see me.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Well said... Thank you.
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

You don't see it, I do not see it... The bruises from the door, and eyes drawn-black from fights... The taste of salt without an accompanying morsel... Always signals bad... Blindingly open poem, but will we see it...

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks for the welcome☺. Nice write up. I just hope we don't get hung up on people who won't see u.. read more
Silente

2 Weeks Ago

Agreed, and most welcome...
One day you'll look for me,
You have hope, that is good but don't be discouraged if that person doesn't realise and seek you. Heartfelt words, made me a bit emotional. Loved it.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Yh, hope is really hard to let go of, even when it's not changing anything. Thanks Najam.
Najam Us Saher

2 Weeks Ago

You're most welcome.
Inspiring and melancholic reflection when love is lost.Nice flow and great depth to this sad but yet inspiring piece of writing

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you. ☺
Smoking Man

2 Weeks Ago

You're welcome 😊
Remove from "I don't think...." to "....don't see me" (for those two lines just undermine the power of the whole piece, and they're implied by the previous lines), and this would be absolutely divine! Well freaking done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Avia

2 Weeks Ago

This means so much. I've made the corrections and I think this is better. Thanks a lot 😊
Dreadfully Invisible

Great Read

Matthew

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks Matthew :)
Matthew Kult

2 Weeks Ago

You are welcome

Matthew

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252 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 5, 2017
Last Updated on November 5, 2017
Tags: Heartbreak, tears

Author

Avia
Avia

About
Writing is my means of expression. I may not be perfect in my writing but i appreciate this platform to share my thoughts and everyone that takes time to read and comment on my writing. more..

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