Demons

Seeping into my mind

Eating into my soul

I'm rolled up in a corner

Scared and all alone

God you saved me before

But I'm afraid I'm going back

Please hold on to me some more

Fill me up with what I lack

Keep these demons away from me

They're breaking down my spirit

I feel broken inside and empty

God please don't leave me.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks Ava fo sending this to me to read.
glad I did.
God has never left you we just change stations for a while. He always lets us come back though back to our one in favs. I channel surfed for years. still do, no one is perfect, he never leaves our radio waves we change and flick the buttons too much I know I do. I wish I knew the answer to keeping him in my radar all the time

[Avia]

Thanks Julie. I wish I knew the answer too. There's so much distraction in this world that before you know it, you get sucked into something, then something else and on and on, then you wonder how you got where you are. Thank you for reading :)

[Thepensiveplayer]

Nice poem. I believe your far from empty. I think there's more in your life to strive for because of the special person you are in this world. Keep writing and growing! :)

[Avia]

Thank you so much for such nice words. I do strive, just sometimes I feel like curling up in a dark corner, so I write to feel better.

[Karmee]

wow a lot of emotion crying out. I can feel this write, you express yourself very well.

[Avia]

Thank you :)

[PandaPeaceful]

Utterly honest and beautiful. I feel the emotion and the want to feel safe, seeping from your work. Absolutely lovely. Well done.

[Avia]

Thanks. I'm beginning to realize the moment of sinking into sin and falling for temptation is the moment you just have to be so strong and hold on to God steadfastly because there's nothing else in this world that will bring one out and renew a soul as His grace. Sigh, it's not easy though.

[PandaPeaceful]

Quite true. Those are the moments we all tend to fall in. I guess we just have to keep trying and having faith- even though it's hard.

[Avia]

Yes, and it does get really hard sometimes. But i've noticed the hardest challenges bring out the strength and faith in you you didn't know you had.

[PandaPeaceful]

Quite precisely.

[Raghib]

This is one reason why I dont believe in God . Maybe it is your perspective to call out to God in such times but I am sick of calling out . Sick of expecting and then breaking . Again and again . Its your perspective , you want to call out , maybe you will get help . But remember that you have to survive alone . Nkt even God helps . Its we who help ourselves . Breaking and then believing is another thing . Believing and then breaking is a whole new experience .

Let me be witty ,
May God help you 😅

[Avia]

Thanks for reading and for your thoughts. I really appreciate it :) I respect your thoughts and beliefs. The reason I believe in God is because when I fall, He picks me back up.

[Najam Us Saher]

Everyone has different opinion, well this is yours and I respect it. I cannot force you or make you believe in one, Indians are free to choose any religion they want.

[Najam Us Saher]

Also, at times one's hope in god falters especially when anything happens against our will. It is our stability in faith that helps us survive. This is my view as you asked.

[PandaPeaceful]

There's been times where all I've ever desired to do, was simply run away. God didn't listen to me and I thought, He was a simple reminder of what wasn't in my life. Oh I was so wrong. You are truly right to say that it is we that survive, and it is we that cause the 'surviving', but God is faith, and I believe that it doesn't matter what you believe in, as long as you believe in something. (yourself, God, Buddha...)

[Najam Us Saher]

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

[Rashi Jain]

God always shows you the sun.
This poem is so deep. Every person can relate to it for everyone has gone through some situations like this, where they feel torn.
Beautiful ❤

[Avia]

Thanks Rashi. I'm glad to know my poem is so relatable

[emipoemi]

Good emotion; good flow; good imagery. Your ending, however, sounds a tad anticlimactic after having reading all that. The penultimate line is a repetition, not an echo, and in order to achieve echo/supporting status, that line should start the quatrain, and the demons (because they're a powerful subject) should be moved a bit down. So it should look something like this: "Broken and empty inside" (the "I feel" becomes unnecessary in its new place)/"My demons break down my spirit/[Here is where you could start the prayer to the Heavenly Father]/[Here is where you end it]" Give it power and grace, and end with a bang (a rhyme if needed)....for the ending prayer right now is a bit anticlimactic for all you've been doing in the poem beforehand. Good start!

[Mavericks]

No matter how dark the night may be, SUN always shines. When you feel nothing is going right, go by the FAITH, be your own Candle. It's the best time to introspect and come out stronger of it. Remember, When life drag you down on your knees, it's the prefect position to pray. Amen!

[Avia]

Thank you so much for this. I needed to remember that.

[Mavericks]

Always. I will be your Life Coach. Don't worry! Lol.

[Raghib]

What hapoens when you believe and break Roy . Your candle is extinguished by your own faith .

I have faith- woah my candle is gone
I will still have faith - now my pride is gone .

There is still some more faith - I have forgotten how to cry

Scattered but visible faith - There goes my little faith .
Look there goes me in drain
Look at my remains
I am a broken believer
Shattered by the belief
Weakened by my prayers

[Raghib]

Btw thanks . I got a new poem

[Avia]

Thanks Roy lol.

[Mavericks]

Raghib. I hope You will find the Light someday, if not today. =)

[Najam Us Saher]

God will never leave you, don't worry. This is a very good prayer which comes from depth of your heart.

[Avia]

Yes. It's a painful prayer, but I'll do what I need to and hold on to God. Thanks for the support :)

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome. ☺

[Raghib]

Read my comments Najam and please answer . I want everyone's view here