Standing On The Edge

Standing On The Edge

A Poem by Avia

More often than I'd like, I find myself here.
Rushing to the tracks, standing on the edge.
Holding that knife, looking with promise
The promise that the world would cease
That the loud voices die and that my mind would freeze
Waiting for the next train to come so i can jump right in
Into the tracks and be crushed like the way this weight crushes me
But no one can see it and I wonder if it's even worth it.
Keeping myself sane, when insanity's calling,
Holding on to life when death's so appealing.


But then I think about the consequence, what happens next
When I pull that trigger, when I jump off that ledge.
There's a million people suffering much more than me, so i stop myself.
Because I know that when I crash, my body stays dead but my soul travels
To the place where my maker sits on a throne in a palace
I dread the question he will ask me.
Why did you do it?
Why did you take what wasn't yours to? Your body the vessel and all I placed in it.
Then I'll see my family mourning, crying over a closed casket
Wondering what was wrong and how did they miss it.
She used to smile, she used to laugh, she was always good and happy
And my heart would break because I never want to hurt them, but i did.
"Depart from me!" the mighty voice would roar.
And I'll be tossed into endless fire for eternity.


So now, as all those thoughts flood my mind, the consequence of my actions
I step back away from the ledge, jump off the tracks, and drop that knife
I should feel blessed to have this life
But I still feel terrible as I fall to my knees and cry.
And cry, and cry, because that's all I can do when my words only lie.
Dear God please see into my heart and save me.
I can't seem to let this go completely, and i need to.
Keep me in your heart and help me keep you in mine.
And give me purpose, so I can live, praising you in everything .

© 2018 Avia



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Featured Review

I'm glad you sent me this
I like it a lot
you bared your soul your most secret thoughts and fears
this is what writing should be
its also a lesson to be learned or someone to be saved from pulling that trigger from your poem
it shows that you stopped thought and walked away from the ledge you were on
I wish my sister had read this God bless you and he will hear you and help you
as I say I liked this poem for its honesty
we should all be honest
I try to write honestly no bullshit too
take care xx


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot and I am glad I wrote this. I find it difficult to express myself to people and it amaz.. read more
Avia

1 Month Ago

...for all of your support. It means so much.



Reviews

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Lin
What a wonderful poem about something so tragic, and, sadly, kind of relatable? Life can be horrible and there is no good out there for you. But that isn’t true. It might take awhile for it to reveal to you, but it will one day. Just cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


No words can explain how strong this composition is..Such a deep message it depicts.
Loved it :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks dear :)
I'm glad you sent me this
I like it a lot
you bared your soul your most secret thoughts and fears
this is what writing should be
its also a lesson to be learned or someone to be saved from pulling that trigger from your poem
it shows that you stopped thought and walked away from the ledge you were on
I wish my sister had read this God bless you and he will hear you and help you
as I say I liked this poem for its honesty
we should all be honest
I try to write honestly no bullshit too
take care xx


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thanks a lot and I am glad I wrote this. I find it difficult to express myself to people and it amaz.. read more
Avia

1 Month Ago

...for all of your support. It means so much.
See, we all go through depressing times a some point in our life. It seems like it's the end, but come on Whenever the Caterpillar had thought it's the end he/she get transformed into a butterfly. See? =) That's how human life is, we never know, how the dots will connect in the future. Our job is to just keep going without losing balance, embracing joys and sorrows as a part of the Script. And, trust me the lessons we learn in testing times is worth the whole life time. It makes you Wise than ever before, and stronger. So, trust your journey. You are given these mountains, so you can rise climb higher and fly like an Eagle. Take all your challenges head on. You know i believe in you!
Your Life Coach. Lol.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

I have also set goals for myself, I'm looking forward to achieving them and stepping more out of my .. read more
Siddharth Roy

1 Month Ago

Thank you. I wish the very same to you! Stay Focused. And, yeah, Comfort zone. There is no growth th.. read more
Avia

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much for the motivation. I look forward to having a wonderful year and I hope you do .. read more
Very lovely message, I really liked every emotion and hope expressed in this poem, keep it up.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Avia

1 Month Ago

Thank you very much. I appreciate your constant support and encouragement.
Najam Us Saher

1 Month Ago

No need to mention thanks.
I know the last stanza is a bit wonky, I'll fix it later.

Posted 1 Month Ago



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Added on January 5, 2018
Last Updated on January 5, 2018

Author

Avia
Avia

About
Taking this life's journey one step at a time with faith. I love to write and I enjoy reading beautiful pieces of writing. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Avia



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