Thousand pieces

A tale of darkness

 

 

I'm on my knees, falling so raw

A thousand pieces of me fall to the floor

My heart in the corner just under the sink

My body is numb; I don't know what to think.

A moment ago I was lost in embrace

Just looking at kindness, a smile on your face

I'm trying to work out what happened from there

Trying to breathe now, I sit in the chair.

-----

You’re sweeping the floor now, and laughing at me

Telling me what went on-that I didn't see

And all the while I'm listening, wandering, surreal

Is this the way it's really meant to feel?

My cheeks burn, my eyes wet

My legs want to run, I pray to forget

I'm trying to work out what happens from here

My ears are on fire, I'm not moving through fear.

------

You kiss the top of my head, sincere as it feels

And talk about fresh starts and making deals

Another small part of me falls to the floor

I steady myself and I walk to the door

I don't understand what you’re doing to me-

I don't get what keeps me here I should be free.

But on and on the circle goes,

Where it stops no one knows

------

What keeps me bound as you pick me up?

And glue me back together?

What makes you want to know as your

Piecing me up like a jigsaw?

What makes you the master and

Me the fuckup?

And why does no one see me cry

In a thousand little pieces?

-----x-----

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

As you say that is a poem about darkness and there's a real desperate misery that runs through this piece.

The image of the character in this poem is one of fragility trapped in a horrible parody of a relationship. There are several references that really highlight the confusion which her tormentor is subjecting her to, within the first two stanzas his mood swings from love, "lost in embrace", to mockery, "laughing at me" and then to the dispenser of terror, "I'm not moving through fear". As readers we can see that these violent mood swings are being used to control and brutalise the narrator.

I think the strongest part of this poem is referenced in the title: the image of an individual being made of a many pieces. This suggests she's been broken so many times before that the slightest touch can destroy her totally once more. To make matters worse we are told in the final stanza that it is not the narrator who is picking herself up but rather her manipulator, "what keeps me bound as you pick me up? And glue me back to gether?" This is not an act of kindness this is the brutality of someone who actively enjoys breaking another person. This is almost the role of an expert torturer who knows that inflicting pain is only part of his role, the true professionalism is keeping the victim alive.

This poem is very upsetting but it does give us an insight into an abusive relationship and reveals that mental cruelty can be as bad as physical punishment when it comes to manipulating and tearing someone down repeatedly.

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

Beautifully descriptive language and wonderful emotion. A powerful write. Great job ^^

[Abdul Aziz]

This is a grim poem, written with great skill. RichardP has given a very detailed review, I think.
The pain is palpable clearly in this write, and, as Rosie has pointed out, you make the reader experience the confusion the protagonist has.
A poem filled with emotion. Great job.

[Coyote Poetry]

There are people who love and some who abuse. When you figure what you got. Stay or run like hell. A powerful poem. Your description was very good. I could feel the emotional bad road trip. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Tim]

A well expressed poem that speaks for so many woman out there. I'm thankful you didn't say--but I love him. I would have left the page immidiately. You express the confusion which I thought should also be mentioned. You did a good job. The rhythm was off for me in a few places but they were minor. Well done.

[R E Tree]

This really does express the suffering so well and the second stanza confuses me a little because you show that the person laughing at you is evil like you own worst enemy. You express your upset in so many ways but then in the third stanza the person your describing as your enemy is loving you and showing you change. I think I feel this confusion because your confused about this person which makes the reader confused too. You might be trying to put the reader into your shoes.

[FlawedByDesign]

"You kiss the top of my head, sincere as it feels
And talk about fresh starts and making deals" - Sweet words can't erase the physical and mental abuse his victim went through.
You've painted a grim picture here, but also the sad truth for many.
I appreciated the rhyming and thought the structure suited the poem well.

Nicely done :)

btw...
"What makes you want to know as your
Piecing me up like a jigsaw?" - I think it needs to be "you're" not YOUR

[StacyPerry]

"You kiss the top of my head, sincere as it feels
And talk about fresh starts and making deals"

Those lines are something I can carry within me for many reasons and one would be the friendship I hold with another. Thank you for this.

[Ruth]

Well written sweet!
A great piece of work, I love the melancholiness to this poem! The honest darkness to life! Nothing can be a pretty picture all the time! lol
Expressed really well, really feel the sadness!
Excellent
xx

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

you present a dangerous man through the victim's eyes sharply~the men with the silky words even as they are drawing blood with fingernails dug into your upper arm~ the cloying monster~ the syrupy liar you draw deftly through the pain and uncertainty and state of crumbling experienced by his victim~