My Snow White Queen

My Snow White Queen

A Story by Azalea Belle
"

“My Snow White Queen ~ you’re mine. Don’t scream, don’t cry, because I know someday you’ll see. Someday you’ll love me back. Now there’s nowhere for you to run. My love, let’s get this over with.”

"

The door is locked; there’s no looking back now. I undress in the dark, and curl up in a ball, attempting to hide from you. Completely.


Why do you ask this of me? You know nothing about me. I can’t help you; I’ll never love you. Your words have haunted me; my worst nightmare is you.


I wake with frozen fear. I can feel your hands on my skin; cold, rough and demanding. I try but I can’t scream. I can’t scream.

You’ve turned me into something I can’t escape from. You’re everywhere. I can’t sleep with you in my dreams.


“My Snow White Queen ~ you’re mine. Don’t scream, don’t cry, because I know someday you’ll see. Someday you’ll love me back. Now there’s nowhere for you to run. My love, let’s get this over with.”


 I can’t help you, stop! You’re wasting your time! I’m going crazy and you’re hurting me-just watching me as I tear myself apart. My wounds from you are deeper than the scars on my arms ever were.

© 2014 Azalea Belle


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Reviews

Well, each paragraph is interesting, and the descriptions work good. However, I felt like you were skipping from different scenes.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Azalea Belle

10 Years Ago

Hi! Thanks for the review! I'm actually editing this right now to try to create a better flow and ad.. read more
Hello, Azalea. Apologies for the absence, but hey, book's done. Check out Song of Sinai on Amazon. Kindle only right now, but better there than nowhere.

Anyway, I'd like to see some more sickening detail in this, especially when the antagonist's hands are on Snow White's skin. Let's feel some icy claws, see some hungry eyes...all that good stuff. You've got a talent for imagery, and you should exploit this. So, more, more, more images. Paint me a picture.

Your tone is spot on, and I cannot complain. In fact, the only reason I'm mentioning this is because I feel you do not realize this strength. You set the stage very well, and if you really push your imagery, it should be even better. Give us another draft.

Anyway, check out Song of Sinai. I think you'll like it a lot.

Regards,
-M.L. Zane

Posted 10 Years Ago


Interesting poetry with your whole emotions involved, good write my friend and I enjoyed reading

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3 Reviews
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Added on February 17, 2014
Last Updated on February 17, 2014
Tags: rape, snow white queen, help, stalker, stalked, scared, alone, hide, love

Author

Azalea Belle
Azalea Belle

About
Hi. My name's Azalea. I write about people dying and going to prison. No seriously. There's a whole lot more to it but I want to write what people don't expect. There are too many stereo.. more..

Writing