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I enjoyed this. It's very emotional and I like the rhythm and syntax that you employed to write the poem. My only suggestion would be to further illustrate your point. What you have here is very explanatory and I think that certain aspects of the poem are begging to be described... You could run wild, for instance, with describing the pain dancing around inside your chest... Just a thought.

I hope my suggestions can be of some use. Have a good one and definately keep up the good work.

Posted 1 Year Ago