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Alican’s hand trembled as she reached for the door handle. Standing on the porch of 399 Buckle Rd, Alican never thought she would come back to this farm.  

 

She shrugged at the questions that were being formed inside her head. Should she open it? Should she go in? Could she even bring herself to go in?

 

Alican’s foot began to tap on its own beat - a nervous habit. In her head, Alican knew she was being paranoid for no reason. No one would be inside the house, welcoming her with a knife. There wasn’t going to be a big spider yearning to eat her. The ghost that Alican thought existed for the longest period of time wasn’t going to come back and haunt her. That, however, did nothing to stop her stomach from aching.  

 

Taking a deep breath, Alican slowly took a step away from the door. Her breathing slowed and her head became less dizzy.

 

There’s no ghost. I won’t see dad inside, next to the front door, dead, again. There won’t be a fire and mom’s dead body won’t be hunting for me either.

 

Alican stared at the house and all the memories hit her hard. The roses grown by her mom, surrounding the house were dead. The oak tree that had a swing seat attached to it seemed to be so old, rotted, and fractured. It was almost night time but the street lights in the driveway didn’t light up. The things that always made the place magical were… gone.

 

Alican gulped, what happened to this place?

 

The life that the house held, the happiness, the innocence, all of it seemed to be replaced with a dead garden and withered grass.

 

Alican pushed aside the emptiness in her stomach and tried to think of a positive thought but her mind just went blank.

 

“I will fix it,” she mumbled under her heavy, warm breath. The house was like a metaphor for what Alican was. Broken, but fixable. Except, with Alican, there always was joy and laughter. She had never lost that. The house, though, seemed devoid of that. It was pretty much dead.

The tapping of the foot slowly stopped and a new feeling stepped in, determination. She could, and would, bring back the life that was there five years ago.

 

Full of hope, once again, Alican turned the handle and opened the door. Hopefully, the determination would stay with her after hours of cleaning. Which was needed, Alican saw after she stepped into the two story house.

 

Alican cringed at the sound of the floor creaking, the door screeching, and....

 

Is that a clock ticking? Alican thought, confused. A memory of an old clock dawned to her. Alican gulped, did she really forget about this place? She was sure she remembered everything -the brown cloth couch, the circle dining table made for a family of three, the bookshelf in the reading room. Her memory was excellent and the fact that she had forgotten some things made her feel as if she was going to throw up.

 

The smell of rust filled up her nose and made her feel even more like vomiting. The cold breeze from outside came in for the first time in few years and caused for the dust to fly everywhere. Alican groaned at the sight of spider webs in almost all the corners of the house. If anything, one thing was for sure, the house was a mess.

 

Almost out of habit, Alican’s hand went up to turn on the light before remembering that there wasn’t any electricity at the moment. Alican would have to call to fix that.

 

And the water has to run for a long time before using it, she thought. After all, the sink probably hasn’t been turned on for years.  

 

Glancing around the dark house, Alican decided that those things came second. After all, there was still a month before she officially moved in.

 

Alican eyes fixed their gaze on the sky blue curtains as she walked over to it. The curtains that draped from the ceiling to the floor rolled up to the ceiling and stayed there when Alican pulled on a string. The light came pouring into the dusty room and instantly the room seemed a little brighter, a little more full of life.

 

Alican smiled at the result and pulled the strings of the other two curtains in the room.

 

Patting away the dust, Alican sat at the window seat of one of the windows. Her eyes glanced at what once was a big garden that connected to the farm. Before her mother’s death, Alican never had a second thought about the umbrella tents that they, her parents and her, would build in the backyard when it rained. They would huddle together inside the bright beach umbrellas and tell stories. Now the legends that they shared seemed so far away.

 

Alican felt her lips twitch into a smile. Memories of the thunderstorms that Alican would watch from the same seat came back, flooding every part of her brain. Thunder and lightning storms were alway her favorite -something that hadn’t changed. Alican stilled loved the rumbling sound, the bright flashes of light on a gray sky, the smell that the grass off after it rained.

 

After each storm, whether it was ten at night or noon, Alican would put on her rain boots and go outside. She loved every moment of jumping on the puddles, starting a mud fight with her parents, the breeze of hair that ran through her hair as she ran.

 

Alican frowned. She held these memories in her heart. All the things she lost. The smell of fresh baked cookies, the wind blowing through her her body as she biked home from school, the stories they would tell around a campfire for dinner. They were all memories that as much as they were nice, they stung, hard.

 

Pushing aside the thought, Alican glanced up at the mountains from her window. Despite it looking so near, the mountains were actually pretty far away and isolated. For three years, Alican had pretty much lived there. It was a nice life there, full of excitement, though it needed a bit of adapting. Now, she would have to get used to her old life again, if it was possible.

 

It’s a nice view from here too, Alican thought.

 

It was true, waking up with the fresh mountain air was nice but so were the countless of sunrises and sunsets that would reflect on the mountain ranges.

 

It was also too cold in the mountains to be able to go outside at night, count the stars and draw the constellations. Alican couldn’t roll around in the grass either, especially with the fact that there weren’t any grasses in the mountains.

 

It still had been nice there. For the first time in her life, Alican had made friends, people she could actually trust. Alican hadn’t really thought of what made her sign the papers and take back the house.

 

There was something, that’s all Alican knew. She wanted a moment, a memory, a feeling back, and she was going to get it. She would get back what was torn away from her five years ago.

Alican glanced at another old swing in the backyard and sighed when she remembered that the fire had destroyed it.

 

I need to get to work, Alican thought.

 

She moved to the kitchen, next to the front entrance in the side of the living room, and turned on the sink. At first, nothing came. Then a drop and an another. Within a minute, water came pouring out of the tap, each drop a little less brown than the one before.

 

Alican sighed and opened the creaking door to the kitchen closet. She then picked up a broom, one which she hadn’t remembered.

 

This will have to do, she thought and started sweeping the floor. If she was going back to her old life, she had to start working.

Reviews

[Elsie]

I want to apology for how long it took for me to respond back on his. It was beautiful put into words on what was going on. I like how she would reflect back to where she had lived to where she was going to live now. How she wanted to reclaim her old life again.

[Taurean X Hunter]

This was a beautiful story. A lot of interesting stuff going here. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Bhumika Devkota]

Thank you!

[WoodenChair]

wow another great poem so great really loved it

[Bhumika Devkota]

Thank you again!