Ventured Potential

find the good

A gossamer used to cloud the potential,
of what was to come,
from my endeavoring existence.
Now I can't help but admire its beauty.

Reviews

[Lexi Richard]

This is a lovely piece of writing; your word choice is phenomenal. It all flows so well.

[B. Hudson]

thank you. appreciate time and review!

[Daydreamer]

Love your voice in the poem
as I read through! Easily read and felt
GORGEOUS!😍
And yeah, screw waiting and stand on your feet!

[B. Hudson]

a decision you have to make yourself! thanks for time and review.

[Bhumika Devkota]

There's beauty in everything. Great message.

[B. Hudson]

thank you so much. glad you enjoyed

[A Ghost of Myself]

"A gossamer clouds the potential" a bit of a foggy prelude to the striving survivor, for with perseverance you can emerge from the smoke, and only admire the achievement while asking yourself, "was it worth it?" Yes.

[B. Hudson]

I definitely agree we can emerge, it was meant to be a description of the way some people feel when they feel like they can't reach their goals. Thanks for the review and for reading!

[A Ghost of Myself]

That's the way I read it, fear of failure, but fighting toward your goal, and basking in the achievement when met. A well done thought and expression.

[B. Hudson]

made some alterations. better or worse?

[A Ghost of Myself]

I liked the original, it wasn't hard to understand, but this does make it clearer. I hope that helps.

[B. Hudson]

sorry, to bother you so much I just take feedback really seriously. And now? or still original? I want the point to come across but I also don't want to be too simple. I feel the original was more powerful but the point may get across easier now.

[A Ghost of Myself]

Not a problem, I'm always willing to help. I believe the original had a better impact, this version makes it easier to understand your intent. I think it was fine to begin with; even though its the title 'Gossamer' doesn't work wholly. It does in the respect of being held back, having to push through murk or web, but it doesn't usually refer to being opaque in nature—which again can work on two levels depending on your full intent. Mind you these are just suggestions. In my opinion I would go with the one you feel expresses your original thought the best.

[B. Hudson]

Thank you so much for your help, I've obviously read some of your writing. Definitely a fan, I value your opinion and judgement very much.

[A Ghost of Myself]

No Problem. I'm always glad to help, and thank you for the kind words.