Chapter 4A Chapter by BTBeamon
The story, Fidei asks: is it real? This question, the most important question of the time. Is it real? What is real and what is not? Who do we, the newcomers, perhaps the firstcomers, gaze towards for knowledge and advice? What may we hope for? More clearly, what is in it for us? Some of these organic avant-garde masterpieces had worn away the excitement of newly discovered existence. The first, Fossa; the storyteller. The maker of new meaning. The innovative thinker that makes life sweet for all but himself. Ah! Must he take heart, though, in all the same things as the rest? What if deception gets his blood flowing?
"It is real," he says.
The second, Fidei; the follower, fortunate to himself, unfortunate to any other not anticipating the same reward. A view of his own existence as secondary; tell him what work must be undertaken. He watches Fossa with dewey eyes, fearing and loving at once, oscillating between the two. He tosses a nasty glance to the Ancillas for failure-to-drool at the heels of the leader, the instructor, the bringer-of-hope.
Fidei wonders off-hand, nervous to inquire outright, how one may secure the reward.
Fossa says, "A lifetime of work and devotion. An earning."
The sense of truth and justice raises Fidei's hair. Of course! How else to remedy one's own boredom with oneself? But he is only guessing, he has not heard the information in full . . . he tries for more suggestion, easing a response from the leader.
Who says, "You indeed submit and serve, and you become a dear part of all things in doing so."
Internal victory! As the idea had surged into Fidei's consciousness, so it turned out as he hoped: concern not with the self, not with pleasures or joys; concern most of all with the devotion, as the devotee, and rise each day with the reward firmly present in mind for the future.
Foolish? No! For here Fidei becomes more cunning than his hero: Fidei, claiming to work in devotion, works in truth for the reward; the devotion is a lie, a useful lie, for his boredom with existence may be quelled through utter servitude. Thus, in both ways Fidei's devotion serves himself.
"I shall tell you," says Fossa, "precisely how to behave so to earn the reward. So long as you do all I say, do not despair."
And what if utter power gets his blood flowing?
© 2010 BTBeamon
Added on June 16, 2010
Last Updated on June 16, 2010
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