I Deserve Better

I Deserve Better

A Poem by AyeooSteph
"

I've been in good and crappy relationships. However this one, was particularly different. It was a long ride. A ride i'm sad to say was nothing but a very long wasted time.

"

At the beginning

You were my everything

But through it all, things kept changing

You went from being my prince charming

to the most ugliest, manipulating villain

Somehow things always gets out of hand

I would try to take a stand

You’d tell me to calm down

Though I hated our fights, I still stuck around

Your smile, your looks, and your sweetness

You knew exactly what was my weakness

So when I’m upset you’d win me over

With a simple kiss, or you touching me all over


I was weak.

And you took advantage of that

Told me all the lies you could come up with

And my love for you blinded me

I believed everything you said

None of it added up or made any sense and yet

I still stayed, hoping for a better tomorrow with you


But I was wrong.

Never occurred to me that wanting a better tomorrow

Was something that we both should count on

and not just only me

And you just kept lying through your teeth

You had me convinced that you were different

But then I came to realize

that you’re no different from the first time we met


You had me standing in a very deep hole

Thinking about those promises you've made

But every episode replayed itself

and each time you betrayed me, I came to learn my lesson

I then started to watch all those promises fade away

But what the eye does not see

the heart does not grieve for

But you opened my eyes and unwrapped the hurtful truth


I used to wish that the truth were lies

Cause once the truth hits me

It stabbed me and then killed me

I cried that night with the never-ending thought of the truth

“Us, never them” That was your first lie

But I fell for it

Cause I really wanted to believe it
“I love you” Was your second lie
Which I also fell for
Cause I loved you too, only a bit more

Realizing what a lying and manipulating guy you were

I left you and did myself a favor.

Normally I would say I’m to blame

But truthfully I do not deserve this claim

You repeatedly cheated and lied

While all I've done was try to forgive and make things right.

But, I deserve better.

My eyes have reopened

To never again let myself fall into your arms


Your words started to mean nothing to me
I really thought you changed me
Used to believe you cared for me
I even thought you actually loved me
Now that I think about it, it's kind of funny
Cause all you did was waste my time by using me
I don’t want a liar
I don’t want a cheater

Never again
will I allow myself to waste my time on someone like you
Never again
will I pour my heart out to one who’s as fake as you
I’d rather stand alone with every part of me broken,
Than allowing your so called “love” in my life to try and keep me whole
Cause all you’d do is continue to break the very string
That’s holding me together, and help me be who I am today.
I don't want the everyday arguments
The everyday "make-up sex" to make things seem fine
The no "communication for a better understanding" of each other
The repetition of saying "I love you" but acting otherwise.
I don't want any part of them.
You can keep them all to yourself

Sounds like High School all over again
Back when relationships weren't so meaningful to me
But I'm grown, and I don't need that
I don't need a man-boy like you in my life.
You say you changed, though I don't believe that
I deeply hope someday you actually do
Sorry if i can never take you serious
But hey, you're to blame
So, goodbye.
And I hope you grow up and have a nice life.
Just not with me
Because I deserve better.

© 2016 AyeooSteph


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Reviews

Some lessons are learn hard. Love is one.
"Just not with me
Because I deserve better."
I liked the story and the wise ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 1, 2015
Last Updated on January 12, 2016
Tags: I deserve better, I'm great without you, You're nothing but a liar.

Author

AyeooSteph
AyeooSteph

Brooklyn, NY



About
My Name Is Stephanie. I Love To Express My Feelings Through My Writings, And Let Others Know My Perspective About Things. I Can Be Funny, I Love Talking To Others, And Share My Opinions. Add Me If You.. more..

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