Subculture

hmmm.. no description. well, it may sound kinda harsh.

Black
Heart
the key to unlock
that place- the place
that says our pain is
okay
we're not all devils
here- the romance of
bad dreams
demons
peek through the pores at me
with nails that are black like mine

Culture
I'll roll over
expose soft skin
scars
to your blade
cut away your pain
but it wont make anything
okay; pound at
the chains that make me feel free
tied to a free-thinking family
cry me
away from your bible

Family
Once more
close the door
slam that damn wood in my face
the hurt just might make me
turn the hell away
stare at
reflections inside of me
if the paint
makes me too hard to see
there are places to go
and I'm not afraid

Author's Note

*clears throat and smiles*

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

I read this piece a total of three times. The first read left me slightly confused, but with an eager to understand, I read a second time. On the second round, I felt like it was too disconnected. The titles of what seemed like three different poems wrapped into one seemed like three series of thoughts too different to comprehend. So I read it a third time, and removed you bold words that seemed to sit more as titles than they did actual fragments of the poem. As a result, I may have comprehended this differently than what you intended.

You can use that as a bit of criticism as well. Removing those bold words helped create that continuous flow I needed as a reader. As the writer, I might have done the same as you to portray my array of thoughts. I found this more so to revolve around the idea of rebellion. I found a high sensitivity to religion, or maybe the bible specifically. Either or, it fascinated me in ways I can't explain. I recognized sinning in the beginning--that it is accepted by society in the middle--then it's not accepted, really, by our honest family members. The world seems too contradicting. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Whether or not I accurately understood the motive behind this piece, it was a true fascination of mind. You have an amazing way with words and subject matter. I hope you find some constructive criticism out of this as well. I wish you the best!

Take care,
--Christoph Poe

[dreaming dame]

hA, lol you clear throat and smile:P Cute.. I read this a while ago, just couldn't review... I like it, though it is harsh.. the words just seem to flow... a smooth flow, easy to read, but you have to go slowly because of the depth. Beatiful write poe!:)

[Dream Mistress]

:) lovely

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem had a lot to be said. The three paragraph each with reason and purpose. I like the set-up of the poem. The poem left me with question and mystery. You did your job as a writer. I had to read a few times to grasp at the desire and pain of the poem. I like the complete poem. I like the strong ending to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote