Bellow of the slow

 

Feeling low because I am slow.

There is a silent row, affecting my glow.

Rapid flow of thoughts never on dearth.

But in black and white, there is no growth.

 

When things rush, I am in bush.

But when ready in lush, they show a hush!

Some shells like me are not to be in the bin.

Mind the world, turtles also win.

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is playful & imaginative! I like that! It feels a little self-deprecating, but also self-accepting. It's exactly where I've finally gotten to in my 60 years. I used to do everything quickly, talk fast & much, pack a ton of activities into every day. Now I'm disabled, so I had to learn to slow down. It was very hard for me, the first few years. Now I'm in a totally comfortable groove where my body & my mind are slow, but I have my routine figured out to work perfectly with my rhythms. Your structured and sporadic rhymes make this feel playful, too.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie for your appreciation. You have caught it right, this written in a playful mood just to answer someone..Actually this came out as a reaction to someone's comments.. It was a playful reply..but a fact too... I do everything at my pace, never in rush...because in rushing we may gather or give out quantity but I think we miss the essence of that thing.. For me the moment is an eternity in itself... But due to this sometimes one may seem out of place in this fast paced world..

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie for your appreciation. You have caught it right, this was written in a playful mood just to answer someone..Actually this came out as a reaction to someone's comments.. It was a playful reply..but a fact too... I do everything at my pace, never in rush...because in rushing we may gather or give out quantity but I think we miss the essence of that thing.. For me the moment is an eternity in itself... But due to this sometimes one may seem out of place in this fast paced world..

[Michael S]

I love the last line of this poem. This is an empowering write. Thanks for sharing.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Michael, for reading and and appreciating.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

"Mind the world, turtles also win."

Such beautiful and wonderful thought. Should be scripted and carved for the future. :)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your beautiful review. :-):-):-)

[Anindita Janhabee]

oh!! this is full of wisdom...
The words rhyming and the sentences screaming of reality... wow...
nice one, as you've included moralities along with the strength of a turtle...
yes... nothing is impossible...
Anindita : )

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you so much Anindita, for this wonderful review :-) :-)

[EvaThornburn]

I don't rush things, but I'am not to slow. I guess that's where I want to be, I enjoyed your well penned write. Eva

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for review Eva. I find myself I little behind whether using technology, riding or driving. That's why this poem.
Thanks for reading. Keep reading.:-):-):-)

[Lydia Shutter]

Slow and easy wins the race! Some people are in too much of a rush in this world. I liked your poem. Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Sometimes, I feel like that one. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

agree with Doodley...in a couple spots the rhyme drew too much attention to itself...but the concept is so spot on...slow isn't always a bad thing...especially when our pace is consistent..like someone who bounces off of bad things with a protective shell, keeps trudging along...we will eventually get where we want to go...those in such a hurry for instant gratification will often get sidetracked so often...they lose the race to real contentment.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thanks for your kind review.
I am going to work on the point you mentioned about this poem. I think there are areas where I need to work a lot. May be reading a lot and reading my own work as a stranger should help.
The pain echoed in poem is my own, but when I read reviews like yours my confidence restores and I get ready for the race. Life is not a race but today's speed makes one feel at loss if one doesn't catch up. That is why this write came up like a cry.
Reviews like yours encourage us accept to try and do better.
Keep reading and keep advising. :-):-)-:)

[Manu]

It shows that those who are slow and are ridiculed go through this sort of pain which is amazingly expressed by your poetry. What I like the most is you are challenging the world that you are going to win.
you showed the pain suffered by weak souls very neatly.
Slow and steady wins the race ! That is the fact of life.
Very nicely written :-) :-)
keep writing and thanks for sharing :-)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thanks Gorthi for your review. And thanks for acknowledging my view.
Your reviews always encourage me to write more.
Being slow, sometimes we feel left out. But being in the race and not giving up is what really matters. Thanks for the wonderful review. Sorry I am responding late, I just missed it.
Keep reading and commenting.:-):-):-)

[.]

I like your idea here.......

A little raging cry for the slow types of the world, like your turtle. In this fast-paced world, sometimes the slower types are left behind. However life is not a race. It is a journey. It is not the speed that matters. It is the length of time that one can maintain the momentum. And like the tale illustrated, the tortoise can win.

I enjoyed your idea here, and it is nicely executed. Perhaps a couple of your rhyming words do not quite fit the piece. They leave the reader a little confused as to your meaning.
Otherwise, an interesting idea. Well thought out.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for the kind review.
These days, things happen very fast. Sometimes a person riding or driving slowly among the fast gives a lot of irritation. I go through both, i.e. sometimes I get irritated and sometimes I make others irritated. You see, with our kind of population, city roads in our country are normally crowded. Lack of speed does give some problem to the person concerned as well as others.
The position from both the perspectives is understandable. But I am more on the side of the slow pacers. That is why this piece. When others are going fast, this person is struggling in small things. Bushes are small; you don’t really lose your way or get lost around a bush but the slow pacer does. Both bush and rush are used in that sense. And when he is ready with plenty (lush), the others stop because they are out of patience (show a hush) caused by the long wait for his output.
Your review means a lot to me. I‘ll take more care in putting more appropriate words or comparisons in my work to make my point clear.
Thanks for reading.