May 13,2013 : A Sad and Somber Funeral with the Body still Breathing

Then this morning has come,

Is there nothing left for me?

No hugs,no morning kiss?

No plans to visit, for friendship's felicity?

Dreams to tell, and indistinct pity.

You are gone, and despair impersonates

Me at every corner,inside every shadow

My mental illness, it eats me from inside

My relationship with myself, dim and slow.

You were using me, without intent

To be loyal or share your true inner life

Now my life is a non-miraculous structure

Of holding on, hoping for more than poverty.

I could walk into the ocean, 

or end my life a cry of mimicry

And watch my own hands go pale and colorless

Death for a day, could be over.

 

Persuaded by the power of silence

To end poetry marrying myself to martyr-hood

Which is the thrilling least of all

Of the little love those curious dawns discussed.

 

Behind  your  eyes,  as  you  shy  away

Into the day, drifting is my broken skill

Of loving you, too much

Foolish to grieve, before you are gone

Then this morning,it all ends.

 

My spring is dumbstruck

by  Autumn's  colored  leaves

So seasons depart, I never expected this

Betrayal, abandonment, the night lies beside me

Heavy, have you no kind words left?

Now nothing feels more appalling

than to be alone in my this house

Than to feel helpless for a lifetime

Without somebody who said they love you.

In my love-soaked bed

I thought I drank love and died from it

Though I have been alone for months now

How many years have I suffered.

My relationship with myself

The dreams that I once sought

I scatter now to the breeze

Accepting, for instance, how much.

The legacy of dead songs

A fantasy, created by stages of delusion.

I invented illusions that you existed

to fill some life in my fragmented heart

For a lonely life, of dead songs.

Reviews

[Wuji]

Unlike some romantic poets, your trials seem authentic and as such it makes for good poetry. You explore heartbreak, identity and alienation quite well in this piece.

[junaid altaf]

presence is the soul of a moment...............
and when it is lost it leaves us with an undescribable feeling..............
you have completely painted the correct picture by the color of your glittering words................

[Dayran]

These sudden departures often leave a clue of their origin ... from the beginning when we first thought we were in touch with it ... till the end when we realize that it is us. There is seldom anyone else we are more familiar with. Nice one Bal.

[Amanda]

Reminds me of a struggle I went through. Good job

[chaotic katie]

I love the wording and emotion in this piece it really captivates the reader, paints a picture, tells a story so that one may put themselves in this place and feel the emotion. Great job!