Simply Sand

I had built us up in my mind

The way a small child does a sandcastle

So confident in the belief we would always stand

In my mind we were everything concrete and solid

 

But when high tide came in

I was crushed beneath the pressure, and I folded

The castle I had made dissipated into fragments

Every grain of what we were going back to the vast void

 

All our memories...

Dreams...

Time...

Has all gone under

 

They lie at the bottom of the sea

To deep and dark for me

Or they float far off among the waves

slipping through my fingers when I try and grasp them

 

I don't know that I would build our castle again anyway

Because I'm afraid you wouldn't have the childlike trust that was always present with us

I'm afraid that that wave washed away our ability to feel in depth

To trust and to love

And I would rather those grains be only memories

Instead of you pretending for my sake and not really giving me your heart

 

So me and the little girl must go

It's all we can do

Take up our pale and spade

And find a new sandy place farther away from the tide

 

Our part of the beach, my love, is gone

 

No evidence that we ever had our time in the sun together

It was just sand after all

 

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Bwahaha, I haven't reviewed you in a long time

I have mixed feelings about this. For the most part, it's kind of blah (shut up, I'm making that a word). There's no real rhythm and no real flow to make up for that fact, and even the emotion is kind of one-dimensional. It's not your best, and honestly pretty forgettable.

I would be amiss, though, to write this off without mentioning that I L-O-V-E your ending. I don't know why, but those last three lines are fantastic to me, putting a smile on my face despite the otherwise mediocre poem.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

so simple is our heart and much more simple is the mind and yet we think that with a few words we could deceive our mind..yet when hurt comes to us..it does irreversible damage to our mind...oh such anguish and pain..as you so perfectly describe it is like a castle of sand being blown off..