WIND RIDER

I wrote this for my little brother after he wrecked his bike, he called his bike the steel maiden after that.

Unfeeling mistress you maiden of steel
I let you hurt me but no one else will
Piece by piece you took me apart
Now you hold all the pieces of my shattered heart
And like the ashes of a past friend
You offer the pieces to the passing wind
A soulless being now I shall never end
Destined forever to ride the wind
Don't try to grab me as I pass by
For who can possess a piece of the sky
Fear for me when you hear the cry of the wind
For my pain and sorrow time will never mend
I know I can't win but I'm still a fighter
And before I'm done all will know the wind rider
                          Bear

Author's Note

I leave most punctuation to the reader that they can read the poem in their own meter, mood and motility. I thank you for taking the time to read my work.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love your style I'll b. e back to read more

[Bear]

Thanks for reading I will gladly return the read and review favor soon :~)

[Namyh]

Bear - I loved the imagery captured within your story. It projects off the printed page and that takes the rhythm-rhyme-talent of a poet's pen. Very nice work Bear. Namyh

[Bear]

Thank you,I just hope you didn't get run over when she drove off the screen :~) and I am sorry it took so long to respond the notice must have went to my spam folder by mistake. I don't know why but it happens now and then :~(

[zaisham9393]

This is really cool, I loved how you wrote this, the rhyme scheme, the structure and everything about it is awesome! I really enjoyed reading this :)!
Thank you for sharing :)!

[Bear]

Thank you for the review, you are to kind but as it is my birthday a little frosting on the day is nice :~)

[zaisham9393]

That's awesome :DD!
I wish you a very Happy Birthday, hope you have plenty of fun :)!
You deserve every good thing in your life

[Mr.Writer]

The rhyming is excellent Bear! I really enjoyed the poem with the rhyming as it enhanced it. It sounded like a nice rap to me which helped with the mood as well.
Overall, well done!

[Bear]

Thank you, rhyme is my thing I know some people get tired of it in almost every one of my poems but when you have been doing it as long as I have it is second nature :~)

[Mr.Writer]

No problem, the rhyming is awesome indeed :)

[duff]

This has that sibling innocence that endears. Big brother little brother kind of stuff that conjures a smile. I like the attitude and personality of the imagery. Soft metal breaking bones. Nice job Bear.

[Bear]

My little brother got pretty tired of the family calling him wind rider till all his road rash cleared up. Glad you liked it and thanks for the review.

[duff]

You made me smile Bear. I definitely did and you're welcome.

[A little flame]

Very entertaining AND well written! Good work. I enjoyed the pick-me-up.

[Bear]

Thank you for the nice review, I shall gladly return the read and review favor soon