ImagineA Story by Beau-dee-loot
“A-hem, okay, welcome to my world, so where to begin. They said cast your mind back to a happy memory. They always say this - a happy memory from childhood, a time when you were just purely happy. Way back. Back I go searching, the further I go the less I find. I always feel a bit left out here, because I have no happy memories from childhood. Overwhelmingly they are lonely memories. I’ve made myself great. Given myself, earned a good life. My happy memories are from recent times, predominantly the past six or ten years. It gets better. See this is why I reckon I’m, by and large, a pretty together guy - the contrasting bliss of my current life compared to my childhood.
“Okay, let’s break this down: in childhood I had no friends. It was me, thinking to myself. I watched them from a corner somewhere - the friends, head down. I used to stand on my own in the playground at school and invent people to talk to. I had imaginary friends, several of them. Mainly Guy, he was the first and most enduring friendship. I invented Guy, but other than that he was as real as you or me. Guy was the boy I wanted to be. He excelled where I didn’t. He was great at maths, computers, and great with girls. Guy had lots of friends. He took pity on me, and that’s why he befriended me, because he was a nice boy. People loved Guy, people who knew him. Guy was more virtuous than me. Behind the shyness I was filled with vengeance. Under my breath I was evil. He was funny and considerate. I never knew what to say. See, I was the masochist child. I invented a friend who was better than me, a friend that I admired, envied, the same way I did all the other children, in reality. Though Guy consoled my loneliness, he fed into my bitterness, gave form to my malice. I came to hate him and, as the story goes, eventually had to kill him - it was him or me - before he got me so low that I turned the knife on myself. I loved that kid. We had many happy years together. These were my beginnings. RIP.
“Things moved on. Experience made me wiser. I never make the same mistake. I can be distinguished on this point. When I got a bit older and started becoming interested in the opposite sex I invented Clara. I was far too socially inept, embarrassed and isolated at this point to even think about approaching a real girl - a state of affairs that had been massively exacerbated by Guy making me feel like s**t - so I had Clara, who was beautiful, far more beautiful than any girl I could have at that point hoped to attract, should I have had the balls to pursue girls. She was more beautiful than any real girl, anyway. That was the thing with imaginary friends, the impossible could become possible, fantasy could supersede any notional reality.
“Anyway, over time, as my imaginary friends got more advanced and less threatening, as they came to accept me, admire me even, I started to build confidence. The conversations and interactions I was having with my imaginary friends now were more productive and beginning to prepare me for real world interactions, although, at this early stage - I was about 15 years of age - these were few and far between. Most of my time was spent in my bedroom turning my bed into an imaginary mansion and a camp bed into an imaginary sports car. They were pretty realistic. It was all lifelike. I used hard back books with A4 paper glued on and dashboard buttons drawn on to create a real car-like effect. I used to rummage down the sheets of my bedding to emerge into imaginary separate rooms in my vast house, exclaiming to myself and imaginary housemates, girlfriends, and family members that ‘I’m just in the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, office.’ Whilst I was living the highlife other kids my age were out on street corners smoking and getting drunk, or having sex.
“I started to take things further; I was unsatisfied - especially in comparison to these fantasised friends, girlfriends, who were dreamlike, visions of perfection. I was skinny and pale. I stuffed old clothes down the clothes I was wearing into rounded bunches, carefully creating the impression of having superhuman muscles. I have to say the impact was mesmerising. I really felt great. The imaginary friends fell for it, hook, line and sinker, believing I was this huge superhero like muscle man. I had them totally fooled. I attracted many more imaginary girls this way. They couldn’t keep their hands off me. Remember, I had the imaginary mansion and sports car as well. I was a catch. Things were looking up for me. The lonely days were forgotten. These were the memories.
“Over time my confidence soared. I became comfortable in my own skin and a pretty cool guy. I had started to read, often whilst out on the terrace in the bedroom, the bulb of sun into a bright day, the carpet of sea lapping the bed of bricks, voraciously I read, inhabiting different worlds, preparing myself with the wise words I would need for the real world. I learned quickly, many things. I found that I was able to absorb information very rapidly in this safe environment, quite the opposite of how it was in school, where I was unable to concentrate. I became super intelligent, far outstripping the wisdom and erudition of my peers. My learning became such that soon I was linking things up, seeing patterns in people, in places, in events that no one else could see. My imaginary friends were mesmerised. At first they couldn’t see it, but somehow knew I was onto something. They recognised greatness but couldn’t keep up. I would sit there with the clothes stuffed down my clothes in the study of the mansion on the beach in the grounds, in the confines of the room with the growing number of friends - I was beginning to attract quite a crowd, explaining my theories to them, seeing them swoon, at my knees they were. In time they caught on fully and I become a guru to them. I invited them into the mansion, to live with me. Many of them took me up on the offer. There were many rooms in the house and vast acreage for further building. We started to develop a community with fresh ideas that could change the course of things. I led the way. My outsider position, and my potential contact to the real world, as well as my discreet knowledge, afforded me reverence. The people kept on coming and started to refer to me as master, then divine master. I was the master inventor.
“I read through the day, assimilating new knowledge into my world view, and held evening seminars which all the household denizens would attend in rapture. They marvelled over my muscles, over my wisdom. They’d say ‘How did you become so great?’ I made them this way. This is what recreated me. It is my great secret. It is how we lived, how we live. Years have gone by in this silence, in this bliss. We thrive this way.
“Which brings us up to the present day, where it seems from this rambling mansion word finally gets out to the masses - my followers are very passionate in spreading the word. It’s time for change. I’m ready. I am being asked to dictate a new societal order, to direct things from here on in. That’s correct, me and my army of friends are about to take up office. Greetings, it’s been a long time. I’m so happy we can finally meet. Mine are now coming into your lives.”
© 2012 Beau-dee-loot
Manchester, North West, United Kingdom
AboutHello, if anyone really wants me to read something send me a message - need only be brief, like READ THIS!' - cos these read requests pile up insurmountably. more..
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