Persephone please phonehome.

just a bit of fun now Spring is nearly sprung. :)

Some time ago I slipped from sight,

the world came dark and drear

and I'd forgot my fur lined hat

which filled me full of fear;

for hatless is unguarded,

like feet without warm socks,

or a cottage made of matchsticks

and dull grey cinder blocks.

I lasted just as long I could,

picked pebbles from the beach,

then tossed them far, far out to sea

where winter could not reach;

a weather buoy called out 'hellooo,'

in dulcet, Gaelic tone,

I said, 'send me an email

or better yet, just phone.'

Some time later I returned

like a blind worm from its run,

eyes narrowed up, afraid to look

at the red rimmed rising sun;

but the grey was gone completely, 

flown fast on seasoned wings

and all about and all around

lay the tint of new born things. 

 

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

a lass with a look i once mistook
for an hour of promised play
down to the warbling merry brook
where i waited day after day
until my feet fast-rooted grew
and my limbs to willow turned
she finally came with a look of rue
and sat in my shade and yearned

Beccy, I believe it's contagious...thanks for the basket of fun

[J. K. Beach]

A delightful celebration of spring after this seemingly long winter! Reminds me of the romantic poets of old... Great work!

[Ken Simm.]

This is most definitely precious. And I love its wit and whimsy.

[NoelHC]

Peresphone brought up a little bit of interest for me, my grandson lives on a street named after her daughter Demeter, and if anyone could use a touch of spring it is him, based on the snow banks either side of their drive, the height of a man!
I also enjoyed how the mythical past was brought into today with the request for an e-mail or a call on the phone.
Another interesting write Beccy.

[ANTO]

Yay ! No crossed wires here Beccy! This is a delightful tale full of warmth and humour
The title is class.
I love the 'blind worm' analogy - got such an image of my dad when he took his glasses off to clean them and his eyes disappeared then magically reappeared when he put his glasses, which he needed desperately, back on his face. Thank you Beccy - such fun this will put smiles on our faces then we will be our own sunshine while we wait on Perse.....

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Nothing like a harsh winter to make you appreciate spring.
But your poem goes beyond that metaphorically speaking of how there is always a light at the end of all tunnels.

[Sheila Kline]

I like the way you have used mythology to deliver a message of winter passing and spring welcomed in on the wings of renewal..........nice!! I can hear the call in dulcet, Gaelic tone - probably wasn't expecting a request to send an email or to phone....LOL

[Beccy]

Thank you all for the lovely comments; and Edward, what a wonderful poem in response. May there be a spring in your step forever.

Beccy.

[Frank]

Some time ago I slipped from sight, [four feet iambic]
the world came dark and drear [3 feet]
and I forgot to take my fur lined hat [suggest: 'and I forgot my fur lined hat' retains 4 feet and iambic]]
which filled me full of fear;
for hatless is unguarded, [this should come back to 4 feet- feminine ending but tis ok]
like feet without warm socks,
or a cottage made of matchsticks [ok]
and dull grey cinder blocks.

I lasted just as long I could,
picked pebbles from the beach,
then tossed then far, far out to sea
where winter could not reach;
a weather buoy called out 'hellooo,'
in dulcet, Gaelic tone,
I said, 'send me an email [feminine ending]
or better yet, just phone.' this stanza is fine for meter]

Some time later I returned [ok just about headless iamb]
like a blind worm from its run,
eyes narrowed up, afraid to look
at the red rimmed early sun; [drop 'at' or 'the' makes it 3 feet]
but the grey was gone completely,
flown fast on seasoned wings
and all about and all around
lay the tint of new born things. [the tint of new born things - 3 feet]

Very good, nice bit of fun and in it our hope of a change in the season soon. :)

[W.k.kortas]

I agree with the prior reviews--the mixture of mischief and wistfulness makes for beguiling, indeed downright enchanting, stuff.