God's New Angels

I had some stronger depressive symptoms over the holiday and created this.

Today I cried for thoughts
Of the angels that ascended
Before me were so strong.
Body inflammed and shackled
And though I wish to not
Break free until God wills it.
My loneliness and need to be held
To be wanted, stable, touching the bottom
Continues to grow each day.
On the Eve of Christmas
I saw the pretty festive jewels
But all I felt was coal to shovel.
What excitement and joy when a child
Has grown cold, black, and dead.
Nothing fills this hole they left
As I pray my angels descend
So that I might have hugs for a day.