Lily White BloodA Screenplay by BikerAngie
These are the only pages I will be posting from my screen write I am looking for constructive criticism on how to capture the readers attention faster.
Lily White Blood By Angie Baker Baised on "Poem Lily White Blood" By: Angie Baker Angela Baker
CHARLES DES MOINES, IA CHARLES a slightly heavy set man sits looking exhausted on the side of bed in his hotel room. He moans as he takes his boots off and tosses his boots to the side of the bed looking around as the phone rings. He loosens his bolo picking up the phone. As he listens to the ramblings of AUNT MARTHA and manages to speak a few syllables here and there. He looks around at the room he has just checked into it is sparsely decorated, but clean enough. An open suitcase sits on the dresser. CHARLES (VO) (Charles chuckles to him self) Not exactly the Ritz (as Aunt Martha rattles on in the background.) MARTHA (Her voice begins to fade in so that it becomes more audible) Now Charles don’t forget you promised you would stop by the fair tonight and watch John and Adrea’s son sing. JR. is so excited he has told all his friends how his big record producer uncle will be there to hear him sing. CHARLES (sigh’s to himself and makes a talking motion with his hand out of boredom) Yes Martha, I would not miss it for the world. FADES OUT FADES IN THE STATE FAIR Dusk is just setting in as Charles arrives at the state fair. The noises of the rides blend with the laughter and screams of those on the rides and the music of the games. Charles stands behind a MOM and her three kids all demanding how many tickets they need as the mom looks frustratedly at her quickly emptying change purse and the prices on the sheet of paper. Charles take pity on her pretends to grab something off the ground and hands it to the mom. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2. CHARLES (winks knowingly at the poor mom) I saw this fall from your purse Mam. MOM (tears in her eyes as she stares at the hundred dollar bill) I I I can’t.. CHARLES (smiles) It fell from your purse mam. As the woman walks away with her kids Martha walks up to Charles and grabs him in a big bear hug. MARTHA I saw that you big softy. CHARLES (laughs) Aunt Martha (then gets serious) I remember how hard you and Uncle Jerry worked to see to it that John and I never went without after mom and dad died. Then you lost uncle Jerry and you worked so hard to keep us from going without. Charles buy admission tickets for Martha and himself. They walk through the gate. CHARLES Now where is that young JR singing? Lead the way. They walk to the back passing up the noisy rides and gaming vendors and find their way back to where the stadium style concrete bleachers are taking there seats just as the announcer announces the next act. There in the middle of the race track grounds a homemade but not to shabby stage has been built for this occasion. The fair can be heard but ever so slightly as the stadium blocks out most of the noise. A slightly nervous CAROLINE stands back stage ready to enter. ANNOUNCER Now we will hear from the lovely Miss Caroline Rush. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3. Charles is amazed by the crowds reaction to this young ladies name. People standing up clapping, woots, hollers, and whistles greet this young lady as she enter from behind the curtain onto the stage. Her fiery Red hair blowing is the first thing he notices about this minx that and her wonderful fair flawless skin and wondrously sharply body in those tight fitting jeans with a fancy western shirt and those designer cowboy boots. CHARLES (VO) Well this lady knows how to package what she has for sure. But can her voice possibly live up to the audience expectations and the package she presents. Caroline begins to sing and holds out her hand to hush the audience. As if by magic the audience quiets down and sits to listen and watch the show. Caroline has the audience eating out of her hands as she dances and sings. She has a natural charisma like non Charles has ever seen. Her voice is also like none and yet like so many. She goes sultry low at just the right times then rises up like a Phoenix rising from the flames as she hits those high notes like an operatic singer. The audience sits stunned beyond words or movement as if in a trance as the song ends she uses that low sultry voice to raise the audience to a standing ovation including Charles. CHARLES (VO) Who is the spitfire? Who trained her? Oh, My gosh where has she been my hole life?] CAROLINE (bowing four times to the audience) Thank you! Thank you! You are to kind! My gracious you know how to make a lady feel loved! With each bow and comment the crowd grows louder. It becomes obvious one song will not do from this lady. The announcer comes out in hopes of clamming down the audience. Miss Caroline begins to walk off the stage. Announcer after trying to settle the crowed turns to the disappearing Caroline. ANNOUNCER I do believe the audience wants more of you Miss Caroline. Would you do us the honor of one more song? (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4. Caroline turns half embarrassed yet whole heartedly honored back to the announcer. CAROLINE Why certainly. I would be honored. As she comes back on stage the audience gets even louder and once again she works her magic with them quieting them with her song and action she is mesmerizing as she sings and preforms. Charles can not believe his luck in finding this young lady at the state fair. FADE OUT BACK STAGE Caroline packs her belonging to leave ecstatic and the response the audience has given her. As she turns to leave she sees a man standing at the exit with the hugest Texas grin she has ever seen. He is slightly overweight and balding ever so slightly barley noticeable under his ten gallon hat, wearing what is obviously a designer western outfit complete with bolo tie and designer cowboy boots. Another singer she thinks to herself as she smiles. CHARLES (finds himself speechless for possibly the first time in his life) I caught you act Miss Caroline. You are incredible. Do you have an agent Mam? CAROLINE (VO) Another one claiming to be an agent! CHARLES (hands her his card) Let me introduce myself I am Charles Bradshire of Bradshire Talents and Productions. Perhaps you have heard of me? CAROLINE (stairs at the card wide eyed) Yes SIR!! Who in the country music industry has not heard of Bradshire Talent and Productions! But what would bring such a man as yourself to IA? (CONTINUED)
© 2012 BikerAngie
Added on April 8, 2012
Last Updated on April 8, 2012
Deep Gap, NC
AboutI am 47 soon to be 48 years old and beginning a new journey, I have bought a salvage Gold Wing GL1500SE which I am rebuilding to join a motorcycle prison ministry. The bikes name is Born Again she wil.. more..
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