So Mara, please explain (oh you can't you blocked me as soon as you left this "review") how this is intimidating? As I said in my description this is about not only things here but on every online community I've ever belonged to, so clearly it's not geared towards anyone specifically. Of course the same ones who are whining about being intimidated while spying on my friends and myself, low-rating our work and then sending their buddies over to the do same, are the same ones who accused me of gearing a lot of writing towards hurting them and their friends. And clearly you are either one of them or just a follower.
Believe what you will. I know the truth as do many people on site. You are not gaining anything or proving anything except that you and your buddies are delusional, petty little cowards who hide behind new ids because they haven't got the courage - which they proclaim that they have - to do anything else.
And all this over avatars...so tell me (again sorry you blocked me) exactly what do you people do when there is something in your lives which really warrants this much energy?
Wow. Biting. I say live and let live.
I like the tempo of this piece though. Very angry and argumentative. I thought I was about to read something erotic, but it was not to be. A damsel stating quite imfaticly that: I WANNA BE A HO PART II, immediately has my attention...it is my duty to help her on her way; as much as I can, on this honorable quest for glory and ultimate attention. But alas, I came to a "moral lesson" that had me feeling limp and pimped. The sentiments didn't sit well with me, based on the namesake of this piece, but the poetics makes this jagged little pill much easier to swallow.
Interesting.
What an amusing piece there is an unusual amount of children on this site that ruin it for the real writers. I am going to have to find the first piece and read that one. Great job on this rant.
As I'm reading I'm thinking - don't know what went on behind all this. People can be treacherous, that's for sure. I like that you can't understand what you mean completely. It's like the best songs - they always leave a lot to your imagination.
Intimidating? Not at all! Anyone who spends much time online in forums and such knows exactly the kind of person you're describing in this poem. I don't think I've seen much poetry on the subject and your take really gets across all the manuvers and petty games of this particular type of psycho. It needs some editing, imo, to get some of those powerful descriptive phrases (like "pornographic avatar") across better. Seems like there's some extra words you could lose, a few spots where I'm not sure what you mean (like "Strength frustration") that could be changed. Also, I think if you put this into sections and got some space between them so you emphasized the most important lines, you'd have a very powerful poem. Just my two cents. Hope it helps. :-)
So no one can pick up a sensitive issue like you do, dear Rachel! Nobody! I so love those of your works. Sometimes writers are cached behind the excitements of their own ego. The lines are steamy and good so ! This is what I call the strong voice of social ethic. Might your words be read by many. Even didactic, you didn't put down the artistic beauty.
"Grammar Nazi's punish you" lol - ohno, that's me! [not sure if Nazis needs an apostrophe]
"You aren't here to learn
Only here to be a star
Twinkle block move on
Those who do not read or speak
You call enemies
As you whine that they've hurt you
Though nothing was said" - this section spoke the most truth for me, although I know that everything in this piece has happened/is happening all over the Cafe.
Making drama out of so little material...
I guess everyone's got to have a hobby, huh?
I've been blocked for not rating 100% and for giving a constructive review.
It seems daft. I'm never nasty to people in reviews.
As you say, many aren't here to improve, only to be praised [for nowt].
Great flow throughout, some good imagery and expression [which shows that it's writing because you're a writer, not writing for attention].