Shades of August

August left without goodbyes
The drums of war still beating
And took his place along the line
That snowy winter evening.

The sorrow swept into his heart
Like wind through velvet curtains
Screams and gunfire cracked his shell
His grief and sanity uncertain.

Against all odds he made it home
The scent of life alluring
Though his soul was crushed, his scars remain
His fragile mind is still enduring.

Reviews

[Casper]

this poem flows very well, and i like the word usage. very creative.

[Jacquelene Vanessa More..]

the drums of war still beating. such a powerful statement. this is filled with hardship, strength, endurance. life is full of challanges. you portrayed all the endurance perfectly

[THE BLACK SEAL]

very nicely done. i have to go read that hidden flute now...great work

[Steffi]

This envoked a lot of good imagery.
The only thing i can say though, is that the flow had a tendency to be choppy which made it hard to follow as a reader. Maybe just look over the sentence sequencing and maybe the word choicing and it will be even better.