From: Starchild Sun (Come Back Super Nova)

(From: Starchild Sun (Come Back Super Nova)

 

I would have stood at the edge of your universe, you know.

With my toenails hanging on to reasonable doubt 

and less than reasonable expectations

had you asked me to.

That is, if you had not pushed me away.

But, you didn’t ask me to.

Nor, did you recognize my similar genes.

And  you didn’t, much, acknowledge that their existence

was because of the expansion of yours.

At least, not for more than a day

 or even a millisecond that you could spare

in any one of your very light years.

They were years that, though sparse on weight,

 were too dark and heavy for some.

Mostly, me.

You see, I’d imagined that, between you and me,

 there should be more finite terms given

like:“We can do this “Sun” because I’m your "earth”

and because you truly believed I was.

And could say convincingly to me  that “I love you for eternity”.

 Would have been out of this world if it had happened (Never did).

 But, even if we couldn’t be that fixed you’d still say:

“We will try and end up at the middle of whatever makes it so” .

Like I had been told we should have been able to do.

It would have been at least something to hold on to.

And in recognition of that attempt to hold

 that then, maybe, we could’ve also found that

there could be at least more than a miniscule amount

of what others call eternity for love.

It would’ve sufficed for me if you'd wanted to

or if we’d ever been together ever as Earth and Sun

for any lenght of real time.

 We could've redefined stability

 for other Earths and Suns; you and me.

 But,we didn’t know about stability.

Not you and definitely not I.

 Because of our distance from each other;

 me here and you always there

(Wherever “there” was you never really said).

We had no real idea about personal spaces and small revolutions

 being the main reasons that we never saw each other much

 or could stand each other little.

At least, not over and over again

 and definitely not for more than a couple of times a year

(Leap years included).

Maybe, we could’ve come to that place where you could say:

You knew “my space” and I yours" .

And had I been defined as more than an eclipse by you

(Supposedly, blocking you from what you wanted to do with your life). 

Maybe, if i had been more than a distant Sun

that arose amongst a number of them

(from an unplanned creation you didn’t want to remember)

things would be different.

I’d have understood the universe a little better

or as much as one could from this one side.

But, all I remember is the other side of a world

that I have always had trouble in

 and you burning out in my memory before we parted .

Leaving not just me but the rest of your gene pool 

with half assed memories of half lights and semi-darks.

My disenchantment and rage were rampant

and manifested themselves in atmospheres of doubts

that I will long remember.

Though, supposedly, we were forever imbedded in genetic traits

 and latent similarities.

But, I couldn’t see it;

because I wouldn’t look through the looking glass or in the mirror.

 It was supposed to be the little common ground we had;

my looking like you ( genes do that I guess).

So, when I finally let go and stopped looking for hope in you

I saw the light in me.

Because I found out  that

your hope was that I never breathed one piece of air.

So I inhaled deeply the first time I saw you to let you know I was alive.

You’ll have to excuse the Infantile bleeding of then

 and the spilt placenta that was my galaxy before this one.

Must have bothered you some;my breathing.

Because you never saw me many more times

than you did that first time in January.

And because most times my mother (Venus,Star and and all to me) 

had to call you on the 6^th.to tell you that

though you forgot again, I was from earth to.

 Yeah, I was from earth to

.And I needed to learn earthling from you or at least half of it.

But I guess

the atmospheric pressure on the Pluto you claimed is a b*tch now aint it.

Especially, if you can’t take the deficient atmosphere you created before you left .

But, I wish I would've told you before you went supernova that

 though we never aligned I still hoped you’d come back 

(supernova or not but at least changed).

And I wish I could have told you

that I would have stood at the edge of your universe

"Toenails hanging on to reasonable doubt

and less than reasonable expectations";

Had you asked me to.

Had you not pushed me away

That I would have still let you in to mine

But,since you're gone.

 I've got to tell you this: 

I never wanted to be your star child

(even though I should've been that and more)

So, I guess you'll never know

 

All I ever wanted

 

Was to be

 

Your Sun

 

Copyright 2011 Vincent L. Jones (Blakprinze)

 

Reviews

[Sunni Davis]

I loved this; the images, the mood, the flow. It was all great.