HIm

Because I love him. Even if he doesn't know it.

I love the way he smiles at me,
I just never want to leave.

I love the way he shakes his head and says 'what!?'
I love the way he helped me with my cut.

I love the way I can hit him,
And he'll complain about bruises on his limb.

I love the way he walks,
And warns me about everything from ice on the walk to the chicken pox.

I love the way his hair is stained,
In a question this mark remains.

I love the way he's so sweet to his mom,
With her he's always calm.

I love how he picked me up when I fell on the ice,
Even though I'd done it on purpose he was so nice.

I love the way he jokes with me,
I hope one day he'll see,
Just how much I love him.

:D

Author's Note

True story. All I said was true, even about me 'slipping' on the ice so he would help me up. :D Pathetic I know. But everybody has their crushes right?

Reviews

[Letemdangle]

This is very sweet Abbie. Would you mind changing the word "thought" to "though"?

[Kiri Nells]

I like how this is so honest and light spirited. Great work!

[Erika Kim Harris]

I agree with Kira on the rhythm issue. This is the kind of poem that needs a regular meter (here I go again on meter!), and in several places there are either too many syllables, or too few. Also, your word choice needs a little tweaking, because some of the words are awkward or repetitive (like in the fourth stanza, you use the word "walk" twice--use a synonym!) And remember, you don't need perfect grammar in poetry--you only need enough that your reader understands you.

[al25]

LOL i read this coz i thought this was a different poem to HIM2. Anyway funnily enough I enjoyed reading it again. And I think its kool about you fake falling thats the way you hint it otherwise he might never notice :)

[Kira]

Nauseatingly saccharine, strained, out of rhythm, with rhymes that are trying too hard and words in places that don't make sense.

Happy to review!

-Kira